She stared down at the bubbles in her beer when suddenly the air around her shifted from warm to red-hot. A smile touched her mouth before she glanced up finding Rowan there. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi.” His smooth voice took away the icy chill in her bones. He gave her a warm kiss. “Ryder told me you came here. Everything all right?”
She shrugged. “Just needed a break.”
“Ah,” he said, sliding onto the stool next to her. “Still working that case?”
She nodded. “Still at it.” But that’s not what was on her mind all day. She turned and studied him, trying to assess his mood. “How was your day?” Today had been Rowan’s first protective detail job working for Ryder. For the last month, he’d worked cases alongside Alex, but he missed being in the field, so Ryder gave him his first assignment protecting a rich and powerful CEO who had received threatening letters. Jeff was working that case alongside Rowan. Far less exciting than his regular CIA gig.
“Rowan.” He glanced up right as Gabe slid a beer down the bar.
Rowan caught it and lifted the bottle up in salute. “Thanks, buddy.”
Gabe smiled then focused back on his group, who all gave Rowan a wave. In that regard, Rowan had fit right in. Ryder’s friends liked him. The team respected him. Alex had never been happier. Life should have been great…yet…there was a tightness in her chest all day she couldn’t get rid of.
After Rowan took a sip of his beer, he said, “Today was far more eventful than I think anyone was expecting.”
She gave a sidelong glance. “What do you mean?”
“The CEO was attacked on the street.”
She spun on her stool, giving him a harder look over, reassessing. “You didn’t get hurt?”
He chuckled, his eyes twinkling while he grabbed her chin and dropped another kiss on her mouth. “I’m fine, but I do appreciate that worry you’ve got for me.” His hand lowered and he
took another long draw of his beer before continuing on. “The idiot didn’t even get close, but the case is over. The guy is in jail.”
“Who was it?”
Rowan shrugged. “An angry customer.”
Alex laughed. And yet…and yet…even to her ears, it sounded miserable.
A beat passed, then a gentle finger tucked under her chin. Rowan’s eyes were soft and sweet and questioning. “Want to tell me why you’re really here?”
Of course, he saw right through her. She’d spent all day considering how to address her concerns, but all of those thoughts vanished, and she blurted out, “Are you happy?”
Rowan’s brows furrowed. “Why would you think I wouldn’t be happy?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” she pointed out, annoyed because he seemed to do that very easily. “I guess I’m just thinking…I mean…this job, is this really want you want? You protected a CEO today. In your world, that’s got to be boring as hell. That would be like me fixing computers with viruses on them. A total drag.”
Again, his eyes got soft. “You’re what I want, Alex.”
And that’s what sickened her. “I don’t want you to give anything up. You can have me and the CIA.”
He watched her closely then shook his head. “No, I can’t, and we both know why that is.”
Because she broke the law. A lot. Did she have to work in those gray areas sometimes? Yes. Would she always have to? Yes. That would never change. “I just can’t imagine not having my job,” she told him honestly. “And I feel like I’m taking something away from you.”
“Stop it,” he said firmly, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm. “You’ve given me everything.”
Of course, he’d say that. He was trying to placate her. She huffed. “But will you change your mind?”
His back straightened and he let out a long deep breath before answering her, “You’re scared.” She parted her lips to object, and he placed his finger over top. “I said it, so you don’t have to. We both know that’s what’s going on here. This is all new and that’s unnerving, and you’re worried that all of a sudden I’m going to walk away from you and want this other life I had.” He dragged that finger slowly across her lips, his simmering gaze following her every move. Until he looked her in the eye again, then that heat faded. “You once told me that Ryder was tired of all the death and the darkness and that’s why he left the Army Rangers.”
She nodded, remembering the conversation.
Rowan’s expression became tender as he explained, “When I met you, you were a light that I never saw coming—so blinding that I couldn’t look away from you.” She melted into his hold when he cupped her cheek, thumbing her face. “You think I’m losing something by leaving the CIA and moving here with you, but I’m gaining everything.” Emotion dripped off his voice as he added, “You are my redemption, Alex.”