I tumble into the absence of feeling, Bryce’s cock suddenly gone. He’s leaned back, and I realize that his fingers are hooked in the ring of anal beads. “Nooo,” the word comes from me. It’s going to break me open, and I don’t know if I’ll actually survive it.
“Yes, baby,” he says, and pulls.
Pleasure rushes through me, fullness emptying, and I scream so loud I’m sure that my neighbors are going to hear me. I’m coming and I can’t stop. Not when the beads are gone, or when he thrusts back in, pounding towards his own climax. Every nerve is on fire, and I’m lost in this place of pleasure.
From somewhere else, I hear Bryce shout my name, coming deep inside. I feel the weight of him as he collapses on me, and I feel the soft brush of his lips on mine.
I’m not sure how long it takes me to come back. I may have even fallen asleep for a little while.
When I come back to my body, floating in a state of calm and perfect happiness, everything is clean. My head is resting on Bryce’s chest, and we’re covered in my blankets. I remember nothing about how we got here.
My voice is gravelly when I speak, from screaming. “We should have done that a long time ago.”
Bryce moves when he hears my voice, slipping out from under me, and helping me rest on the pillow. I like the way he’s leaning over me, and the way his body half-presses me into the mattress. Now that I’ve had a taste, I want as much contact with him as possible.
“I agree,” he says, “but it might not have been like that.”
“Maybe not.”
He kisses me, tilting my chin up so he can lean in deeper. “No matter what we should have done,” he says, “that was worth the wait.”
Just the simple stroke of his hand down my side has my nipples hardening, and he laughs, low and throaty, and I wish I could fucking bottle that sound. “As much as I appreciate your body’s enthusiasm, I don’t want to break you.”
“What happened to twenty-six orgasms?” I tease.
“Oh,” he says, “we’ll get there. But it might take some training. Regardless, I think seven is a good start.”
“Was it really seven?”
“At least,” he nods. “I’m not sure I kept track of all of them in that last bit, but you were screaming quite a lot.” I blush, and he tucks me into his chest. “I liked it.”
This feels impossible, but it’s not. I’m still so, so tired, and I relax into the feeling of him soothing his hands down my back, and the steady sound of his heartbeat under my ear.
“Bryce,” I say softly. “This is real, right?”
“Yes, baby girl,” he says. “This is real.”
It’s with those words in my head that I go to sleep.
5
I wake up, and I’m pretty sure that everything is a dream, but I know it wasn’t. But it might be easier if it was, because when I wake up, I’m alone in my bed.
Oh, no.
My first thought is to look for a note, but there’s nothing on either of my bedside tables or in the kitchen. In the living room I find my phone on the floor, where I must have dropped it after he kissed me and I didn’t fucking notice. Nothing there. Outside, Bryce’s car is gone. It’s like he was never here at all, and I wish I could take away how much it fucking hurts.
Tears come to my eyes, and I push them back. No. I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to cry. It’s for the best. It is. We knew that this could never work. Not with who we are and who our families are and who my father is and the age difference.
Bryce probably came to his senses and realized that this was all a mistake. That his relationship with my dad is more important to him, and he doesn’t want to destroy it. Because my dad would be devastated if he knew. I know that deep in my gut. The same way that I know that I would do all of last night again. I will never take it back.
It was the best night of my life.
Probably will continue to be the best night of my life if Bryce has changed his mind.
It’s fine. I knew it was coming. It’s fine.
I keep telling myself that as I get dressed, make breakfast, and go to the store. It’s fine. It’s a good memory. It’s okay.
I push aside the pulsing hurt in my chest and go about opening the store. Elle isn’t here yet, and I’m glad, because she’s going to ask about last night. I’m amazed the cops didn’t show up at my house because I was so caught up with Bryce I never texted her. It was so easy to disappear into him and forget everything but the delicious pleasure and intimacy. Or what I thought was intimacy.