…right?
“It’s all blank.”
“Do you think that there’s a chance that we, uh, that we really…”
“Got hitched? Yeah. I’m pretty certain.”
“Why?”
He sighed and pulled his cell phone out. “While I was waiting for you to arrive, I checked my charges on my card and I found some very sketchy looking ones. That made me then look into my email, where I found a marriage certificate had been forwarded to me. I sent them both to my lawyer to figure out which place it came from.”
“Wow,” I groaned, sinking my head into my hands. “I can’t believe that I got drunkenly married in Vegas. This is a new low.”
“A new low? I don’t think I’ve ever been called that before.”
My head snapped to Mickey and I blushed. Oh shit, that was probably a pretty mean thing to say right in front of him. “I didn’t mean that! It’s just… the situation is, uh,-”
He chuckled and waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it, I was just teasing. My lawyer will probably get back to us tomorrow, it being Monday and all, and we can work on an annulment. Unless you don’t mind being Mrs. Dirussi.”
I laughed automatically at his joke, pleased that he was being so great about the whole situation, but then I saw the slightest downward twinge at the corner of his mouth. “Wait, you’re not serious, are you?” He couldn’t be, right? We hadn’t talked in around three years. Why on Earth would I think it was a good idea to stay married to him after a drunken tryst!?
There was a fraction of hesitation before he let out his own laugh. “Of course not. If I ever am married one day, I would prefer it with someone who was proud and happy with the arrangement. And, uh, I think I’d like to remember it actually happening. Just had the passing thought of the convenience of it all.”
“Convenience?”
He shrugged, his intense gaze staring right through my soul. “Have you noticed that a lot of things about our world are made for couples? Life insurance, power of attorney, credit, even insurance. In some ways, a situation like this could work out to be beneficial. Not that I’m saying we should, just that there’s always a silver lining.”
“Uh-huh,” well, we were in possibly the last place I expected the conversation to go. “There would definitely be upsides to being hitched to a famous MMA fighter, I’m sure, but I’m going to insist on the annulment. I’m sure you understand.” Did he? I hadn’t just suddenly gotten myself into a situation that was even worse than I thought it was, did I?
“Oh, of course. It makes sense to, uh, everything considered.” He gave me a nod and I always felt a little guilty. Like I had somehow hurt his feelings. But that was ridiculous! There was no way he could want to have his wagon hitched to me, some co-owner of a stunt company who was definitely way too far in debt and had her own temper issues.
Besides, I was sure that he had a literal cadre of fawning women to soothe his wrinkled pride or ego, or whatever was making him look slightly disappointed. And besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t being polite, so maybe I was just reading him wrong.
“Well, thank you so much for meeting with me so we could get on the same page. This certainly wasn’t how I expected my Sunday to go.”
“You and me both,” I said with a huff.
He nodded and stood, placing a fifty on the table that would more than cover both our meals plus a very, very generous tip. “I wish you the best. I hope we hang out sooner than the last time. I’d love to stay, but I really need to head back home and get to the gym. My trainer has already been texting me like a mom whose son is out after curfew.”
I laughed shakily. “No problem. Get those gains, or whatever it is. Thanks for being so cool about this.” I really was grateful. There were at least a dozen different ways that the whole conversation could have gone, and I was pretty sure I had gotten the most pleasant outcome.
“Of course. We’re friends, Amber, and we have been since we were teens. Even if we don’t talk very often, your welfare will always be important to me.”
It took a whole lot in me not to flush from head to toe at that. Instead I just gave him a wink and some awkward finger guns. “Right back at ya, bro.” Bro? Since when did I say ‘bro’?
“Be safe, Amber.”
Another small nod and then he was out the door, leaving me staring at his empty seat and wondering when my life had become such a sitcom.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was such a gentleman. After all, I’d been friends with him since puberty, basically, and he’d always been a decent guy. I wished all men were as confident in themselves. I was sure there were some who would have taken my insistence on an annulment as an insult on their masculinity or something.