When I answered, “No!” he put his hand on my shoulder: “If that is so, my friend, then you must write to my friend Rifat Bey by name and tell him that you shall stay here with me for another month to complete the job.”
My heart felt gripped by a claw of ice. I could not help myself and asked:
“Will I stay so long?”
“I desire it much; let me even say that I will take no excuses. Did not your director Rifat Bey say that you are responsible for handling my difficult affairs here?”
What could I say to this? Apart from everything else, this job had been given to me by my director, and in a way my patron, Rifat Bey. How could I let childish fears disrupt all this work? And there was something about Count Dracula’s words which reminded me that I was already a prisoner here.
Then he took out three sheets of notepaper and three envelopes from his pockets and handed them to me. On them I wrote two letters: one to Rifat Bey and the other to my dear fiancée Güzin. In that time the Count wrote two or three letters in French, referring to some books on his desk. When I finished, he took my two letters from the desk and went into another room, presumably to take care of other business. During this time, I swiftly looked at the addresses of the other letters. One of these was written to an employment agency in Istanbul and the other was to a freight company. Presently Count Dracula returned, and after picking up these letters he said:
“I trust you will forgive me, but I have much business that I must take care of tonight.”
Having said this, he walked to the door; but then he suddenly stopped and added these words:
“I must explain something very important: if you leave these rooms, never fall asleep in any other part of the castle. For this ruined castle has been the scene of many great events, and there are bad dreams for those who choose their sleeping places unwisely. Should you feel tired somewhere else, return to your bedroom or here immediately!”
The Count left and I was lost in thought. Could there be a worse, more terrifying nightmare than this supernatural darkness that has been closing in around me?
One or two hours later.—Oh, I would prefer to sleep anywhere but in the presence of Count Dracula!
After the Count left, I went to my bedroom. After a time, I came out again. I went up the stone stair where I could look out to the south. Although I had no chance of reaching the expanse below, seeing it provided some relief. I was already on edge; although I tried to give myself courage, dark clouds were settling inside my mind. As I looked through the window, the moonlight illuminated the scene as though it were daytime. I leaned out to get a better look around when my eye caught something strange, moving slowly, a story below me.
What I saw was the head of Count Dracula leaning out from the window. I stepped back and watched. At first this did not seem of particular interest. But a few moments later my feelings changed to terror and confusion when I saw the Count completely emerge from the window and climb, like a lizard, down the outer wall of the castle above that steep, dark cliff. I absolutely could not believe my eyes. But there he was, Count Dracula. He was moving downward, grasping the irregular protrusions of the wall with his fingers.
What kind of a man, or creature in human form, is this?
Oh… I feel the dread of this castle overpowering me. I am frightened; there is absolutely no escape from here. I am trembling, face to face with fears of which I dare not even think…
15 May.—Once more I have seen the Count crawling down the wall like a lizard. He moved down and to the left for about a hundred feet and then vanished into some sort of hole or window. When I realized the Count had left the castle, I decided to take advantage of this opportunity and explore. I went to my room and, taking a candle, began trying all the doors I encountered. All of them were locked, and the locks were incongruously new compared to the doors themselves. I went down to the courtyard where I had first entered the castle and the large door there was locked as well. The key was certainly in the Count’s room. To open that great door, or to find it open, would be the most reasonable route to escape. Afterward, I tried some of the other doors; all of them were locked, but I was able to force one which communicated with another wing, and I entered this new area of the castle. There were many rooms here. The moonlight poured in through the wide, curtainless windows, filling the room and rendering the candle in my hand almost useless. But I was glad that I had it, for there was a terrible desolation and unnatural silence all around me. Still, it seemed far better to me than my own room, which I had greatly come to hate and fear from the presence of the Count. I tried for a while to calm my nerves and felt a soft quietude come over me. I write these lines of my journal from here.
16 May, morning.—Great God, spare me from going insane! For to this I am reduced. There is no longer any assurance of peace, safety, or escape. All I can hope for is that I may not go mad. Have I gone mad already? Oh god, what have I become? Now think: This sinister castle is terrifying, so full of dark and vile things that the Count appears the least foul and dreadful among them! From these maddening, shadowy dangers I am now compelled to look to the Count for safety, even if it is only for so long as I serve his purpose.
Oh, great God, merciful and almighty God!
Let me try to be calm. For if I do not I must surely go insane. I shall pour my misery into this diary as has been my habit since childhood. It gives me some comfort to write down my grief.
The Count warned me never to sleep in any of the other rooms, but I paid this little heed. After roaming the other side of the castle and writing about it at a desk I discovered there, I put my notebook and pencil in my pocket. I began to feel sleepy. Although the Count’s warning crossed my mind, the moonlight streaming in through the window and the spectacular scenery persuaded me to sleep here. I lay down on the dusty sofa in front of the window. I think I fell asleep instantly. But what followed was so vivid, so real and substantial, that as I write these lines in daylight I cannot believe that I was sleeping. Let me explain:
I was not alone in that room in which I had fallen asleep. Judging by their dress and manner, there were three young women or girls in the room. But strangely, a
lthough they stood beneath the moonlight, they threw no shadows on the floor. These three girls came over to me, looked at me for some time, and whispered to each other. Two of them were dark beauties. Their faces resembled that of the Count. The third was fair-haired and also exceptionally beautiful. Their eyes gleamed red in the moonlight. All three of them had brilliant white teeth. These shone under cherry-red lips flush with sensuality and passion. These girls had a strange aura, and there was something about them which both attracted me and instilled in me an icy fear. I felt a strong, wicked desire deep in my heart for these girls to come and kiss me with their fiery, red lips! My dear Güzin, I should not write these things here, for perhaps one day you will read these lines and they will cause you pain; but I cannot help it, it is the truth!
They whispered, and then the three girls burst into laughter. This laughter was sweet, yet also rough and harsh, clawing at my heart. The two brunettes were urging the fair-haired girl to do something. One of them said:
“Go ahead, it is your turn; go kiss him! See, he is young and strong. He has strength enough to be kissed by all of us.”
The fair-haired girl moved forward and bent over me; I felt her breath on my face. Here I felt a faint thrill and a dull sickening sensation at the same time. I detected a foul odor, like blood. I watched, under my eyelashes, as the girl knelt down. Her face trembled, as though with intense thirst, and she licked her lips like an animal. Her crimson tongue was visible between her sharp, white teeth. That beautiful head leaned down even further. I felt a warmth on my neck and two sharp teeth touched my skin. I was in the agonizing grip of a strange, painful ecstasy—overwhelmed!
But just at that moment another sensation swept over me. From beneath my eyelashes I saw the Count approaching with a dark, furious countenance that seemed enveloped in a black cloud. With his strong hands he grasped the girl who knelt over me by her white, delicate neck. Although she displayed intense rage at this interference, he hurled that exquisite face behind him as though she were a feather, and then motioned imperiously for them to back away; this was the same command that had been given to the wolves when I traveled to the castle! The Count’s voice sounded like a snake’s hiss.
“How dare you?” he said. “How dare you touch a man who belongs to me? Have I not forbidden you to touch?”
Then he continued in a calm, soft voice:
“Do not be angry, your time will come; you shall kiss him also. After I am finished with him. Now leave, for there is work that I must make him do.”
Then one of the girls pointed to a large bag which the Count had thrown upon the floor as he entered, and which appeared to have something alive within it.