He sat back and studied me again as he took a drink of his beer. “Of course she’s going to choose her job, you fuckhead. She thought she was just a convenient lay to you. No strings attached, remember? You really expect her to risk her job for a guy who uses her for sex?”
“It wasn’t like that.” My hackles rose even though I knew he was right.
“You told me yourself you weren’t serious about her. Did that change?”
I turned to look out over the bar so I could avoid Rick’s pointed stare. Finally, I summoned the courage to look at him. “Yeah, man, it changed.”
“Oh.” He shrugged. “In that case, it is a little cold she chose her job.”
I shook my head. “She didn’t know. I didn’t get a chance to say anything.”
“I see.”
I sat in the booth as my mind whirled with this new information. Why hadn’t she told me about her job?
“Oh, Angela did say that Ellie was able to keep Mollie in her class.”
For the second time since I got to the bar, I felt like I’d been hit in the gut with a two-by-four. “What?”
“I guess the principal wanted to move Mollie to a different teacher, but Ellie was able to persuade her not to do that. She was afraid it would distress Mollie. So, at least she’s looking out for your kid.”
I went back to what Rick had said about Angela being busy tonight. “You said Angela was with Ellie because of something about me. What’s that about?”
Rick pursed his lips. “Come on, you’re not that dense, are you? The woman lives across the hall from you.”
“I haven’t seen her.” I hated that I was coming out the bad guy in this. But, even more, I hated the idea that I had missed something. If I’d paid better attention, would I have been able to do something different to keep Ellie?
“She likes you, man. She also thinks you don’t give a fuck that you don’t see each other anymore.”
“She’s the one that broke it off.”
“To save her job.”
“She never said that to me.”
Rick leaned forward again. “And if she did? What would you have done?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. But I’d have told her how I was feeling. Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“I bet it would have. Maybe it still will.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” While a part of me felt hopeful that I could salvage something with Ellie, the protective part reminded me how much heartache sucked.
“You gotta be brave man. The hardest thing I ever did was show up at Angela’s with my shit. But it was also the smartest thing. When it’s working, love is fucking awesome.”
When it works, was the key concept.
Chapter 17
Ellie
I wondered if I was ever going to stop crying over Will. I was beginning to think that I should quit my job and ask him to take me back.
“Back to what?” Angela asked. She sat on the couch with a wine glass in one hand and my head in her lap as I cried yet again about Will. “It’s not wise to put all your efforts into a man who just sees you as a booty call.”
“It was more than that.” Maybe it wasn’t love and commitment, but I knew it was more than just sex.
“I think you’re just trying to talk yourself into something that wasn’t true.”
“Not all our time together was spent in bed,” I argued.
“Did he ever tell you he loved you or give you any indication that he wanted a relationship?”
I sniff. “No.” I thought about the fact that he continued to see me, which wasn’t his usual MO with women. Before, he’d only see a woman once, but he kept seeing me. That had to mean something, right?
And that night he touched me so slowly and gently. It was like he was making love to me.
But maybe Angela was right. Maybe I was trying to change the past to justify changing my decision. I did have choices. I could try to find another teaching job. But Angela was right. Should I make such drastic changes over a man who simply wanted a friends-with-benefits relationship? A relationship that would likely end when he and Mollie moved into a home?
“Remember that cute guy I was telling you about at my work? Maybe I could set you up with him. He’s not quite as sexy as Will, but he’s sweet, and doesn’t have a ton of baggage, or a kid.”
I looked up at Angela. “Mollie isn’t baggage.”
“I know honey. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…” She trailed off and sipped her wine.
“Just what?” I sat up and stared at her, wondering what she was trying to avoid saying.
“Will was your first sexual experience and maybe you’re putting too much into that. Sex isn’t love, honey.”