“That must have been hard.”
“I don’t know. I guess. It’s the only life I had. I don’t have anything else to compare it to. Anyway, now I don’t know how to do anything sober.”
Paul lay down on the futon with his feet up on a pillow, preparing for a long conversation. “Do you miss going out to the places you used to drink? Seeing the people you used to drink with?”
“No, not really. I never really liked that much. I just went to the clubs when I was short on cash. Of course, that was most of the time, so I went a lot.”
“Short on cash? Aren’t they more expensive?”
“Yeah, if you’re buying. But, you know, I have a pretty good face. I could always find someone to buy me a drink.” So he did know he was beautiful!
“Did they expect you to go home with them?”
“Sometimes, but you don’t really have to go home. They have these back rooms.”
“Don’t tell me about that!”
“I forgot. You’re a minister. You have virgin ears. They didn’t teach you about gay back-room sex in the seminary?”
“I just can’t picture you like that.”
“Yeah, I know. I look innocent.”
“But is that what you wanted? Anonymous sex? You didn’t want more than that?”
“Sure. I wanted alcohol.”
There didn't seem to be much more to say on that topic. In the brief lull, Paul let his mind wander to how he must seem to Ian. “It’s funny how people think ministers have ‘virgin ears’,” he said. “We hear everything. A lot of people have secret lives.”
“Like what?” Ian seemed delighted. “Give me some dirt.”
“No, I can’t do that,” Paul said with a smile. “It’s just that people’s lives are so much more complicated than they seem to be on the surface. People are always putting on a show for each other.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Have you ever read the Bible?”
“You trying to save my soul again?”
“No, I just mean have you actually read it?”
“Bits and pieces.”
“I hate it when people talk about it like it’s a neat little rule book for living, all clean and shiny. It’s full of every side of life. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. People are awful to each other in the Bible. They’re murderous and vengeful and ugly. But sometimes they’re beautiful and compassionate. It is so rich. It’s the whole messy human experience. If it was just red-haired, blue-eyed Jesus and pastel shepherds and the Ten Commandments, it wouldn’t be so relevant. A lot of people think they are living their lives according to the Bible, and they’ve never read it. Every time I read it, I’m seeing it with different eyes. I read it from a different place, and it speaks to me in a different way.”
“We just went from gay sex to the Bible in thirty seconds. That has to be some kind of record.”
“You think we could get in Guinness?”
“You think they have that category?”
Paul laughed. “I’m really glad you called,” he said. “I like talking to you. I was going to mention, if you are looking for a job—you’re doing a good job on the community service. I’m sure it’s not your ‘calling’, you probably have lots of talents, but we are looking for a custodian full time if you’re interested.”
“A lot of talents? I only have one talent. Opening whiskey bottles. I’m not very good at closing them, though. I don’t have a lot of practice at that. Or is that something you’re not supposed to mention in a job interview?”
“Well, the job is yours if you want it.”
“I’m going to go back to my high-school guidance counselor and tell her that everything she said about interviewing was wrong. Just talk about back-room sex and your drinking problem and you got the gig.”