“Oh, I’m great.” Corah giggles. “You know I can’t drink anymore.”
Maggie and I exchange a look, not having any clue what Corah is talking about. I rack my brain to recall the details of last night. She’s right. She didn’t drink a drop during our game of beer pong. But why?
“Oh!” Corah says with a titter. “Liam didn’t tell you?” She waits for Maggie and me to respond. When we don’t she rests her hand on her stomach and says, “We’re expecting.”
I can’t breathe.
My pulse ravages every inch of my body while my ribs compress my lungs and the world spins into a blur of colors. I take a ragged breath that spans a lifetime as what Corah said sinks in.
Liam is having a baby.
A goddamn baby.
The weak foundation supporting my plan to win Liam back crumbles. My reason to spend time with Asher, to let him hold and cuddle up against me, is officially moot. As many faults as Liam has, he will do the right thing. He will stay with Corah, probably even marry her before the baby is born, and I will officially be nothing.
“Lainey?” Maggie’s voice distorts in my ears. I turn my head to where she sits beside me, my vision tunneling. Her brows knit together, a wrinkle of concern appearing between them. “Sweetie, you don’t look so good.”
I don’t feel good. Liam is having a baby!
“I…” I stand, my body on autopilot, and turn on my heels. I run across the sand, up the steps of the boardwalk, and keep going. I can’t feel the burn of the hot Florida asphalt under my bare feet or the sting of tears as they stream down my cheeks. I don’t look at the oncoming cars as I dart across the road or wave apologetically when they honk their horns at me.
I.
Just.
Run.
Until a hand forcefully grabs onto my forearm and jerks me backward. The tunnel my vision narrowed into widens as my feet stop moving. My chest feels like it’s on fire, not able to get enough air and fighting what little I give it.
“Holy shit, you’re fast!” Asher pants. He holds onto me with one hand, like he’s afraid I’ll take off again, and sets the other on his hip. He bends over to catch his breath and asks, “What the fuck happened?”
“Liam is having a baby,” I say in one breath.
My heart breaks all over again for him. For me. Hell, for that baby that’s going to grow up in the middle of a loveless marriage. As much as Liam thinks he loves Corah, he doesn’t. He’s infatuated and, if he’s not careful, he’ll follow in his father's footsteps. I run my hand through my hair and push my wayward strands back. This can’t be happening. How could he be so reckless?
Oh. My. God.
We never used condoms and he clearly didn’t use one with Corah, considering she’s pregnant. The fear I had two weeks ago about Liam giving me a disease hits me twofold. Thank God I have an appointment on Tuesday to get tested. If Liam gave me anything because of his carelessness, I’ll kill him.
“Good for him.” Asher lets my arm go and sits on a nearby parking block. At some point during the volleyball game, he took off his shirt and left it behind when he came chasing after me.
Images of last night’s dream flicker in my mind. It felt so real, straddling Asher’s lap and kissing him until I made myself come. My heart sinks further into my stomach. Liam is starting a family and I’m having wet dreams about a guy who is using me for one thing or another.
I walk over and slump down on the stoop beside him and glance at the leaves of the oak towering above us. I don’t want to have this conversation, but I can't deny the truth of my situation, it has to happen. “You don’t understand. Liam will never come back to me now.”
“Oh,” Asher mumbles, realizing where this is going. He stretches his legs out, crossing them at the ankles. Sand dusts his bare feet and calves. I don’t think I’ve seen Asher in shorts since that sixth-grade pool party. He has nice legs. Thick and muscular. “So, that’s it then?”
“What? No!” The thought of being alone right now is crippling. Asher and I may have been fake dating for only two weeks, according to our classmates, but I can’t imagine walking through the halls on Monday without him by my side. Everyone will accuse him of being with me to make Liam jealous, which is true, but having people say it out loud makes me sound that much more pathetic. Thank God no one knows this is fake. “Not unless you want it to be.”
Asher presses his lips into a tight line. Fear that he thinks I want to keep our charade going because I have feelings for him sends a shiver through me. Last night unearthed a bunch of emotions I'm not ready to deal with yet. I haven't had the time to figure out if I like him or if the beer I drank last night does. If, and that's a big if, I'm starting to like my fake boyfriend, the last thing I want is for him to find out.
“I just… I enjoy spending time with you. Things between us are easy, kind of like they were when we were kids. And…um… I was hoping you’d want to keep fake dating me because being dumped as soon as Liam and Corah announce their love child will suck. Not because I’m jealous of them. I don’t want to be in her shoes, but I think people will assume you don’t want me anymore because Liam won’t come back to me. Am I rambling? I’m rambling.”
I cover my face with my hands, humiliated that I am losing all control, and take a deep breath. I can’t lose Asher, not yet. Not when he’s become the crutch I didn’t know I needed. Please don’t leave me. After a moment to collect myself, I look at him again “I’m sorry. I guess you make me nervous.”
The corner of Asher’s lip lifts. It's the first smile I've seen today that doesn't look forced. “I do?”
“Okay, not you.” I roll my eyes because I'm laying too many cards on the table. “But this conversation. I feel pathetic begging you to keep up this fake boyfriend charade, yet am terrified you will say no.”