He nods, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “Are you gonna break up with Gunner before?”
Ah. I understand now. This is bribery. He thinks a good meal will sway me to stay strong when Gunner returns to school tomorrow. Logan never had anything to worry about, but it’s fun making him sweat. I roll my eyes. “Probably.”
I close my eyes, listening to Logan’s heart thrumming wildly despite his slow, steady breaths. Pretty sure if it were a race, our hearts would tie for first because mine’s beating just as fast. My finger paints an invisible squiggly line on his chest, above his shirt. I look up at his perfect face, admiring the strong curves of his jaw and how long his lashes are. I smile knowing he can’t see me with his eyes closed and move my squiggly line further down his chest to the top of his abs then back up his sternum. “I have a question.”
“Ask away.” His voice vibrates through his chest, sounding even deeper than it normally does.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
Logan’s body shakes with a silent lau
gh, rocking me on top of him. “Define girlfriend.”
There’s no way Melody is his only girlfriend. She doesn’t even count! I push up onto my arm and look down at him. “How is that possible?”
He tucks my hair behind my ear and smiles up at me. I love when he does that. “I never wanted one. I could get the benefits without the commitment. I didn’t see the point.”
I slide back down, resting my head on the pillow this time instead of his chest. “That’s gross. I don’t even want to think about how many girls' you’ve been with.”
Logan shifts upward. He tucks his knuckle under my chin and turns me to look at him. “I can tell you I’ve never done this with anyone.”
“What? Talk?”
My mind starts running, flickering a stream of faceless girls in compromising positions before my eyes. Logan huffs through his nose, a shadow falling across his face. He tucks his hands behind his head and stares at the TV. “I talked plenty as a kid. It just took too damn long for anyone to listen.”
That’s a loaded statement. Probably tied to the mystery secret he thought I knew. The more I think about it, the more his words ripple through me. The hurt hidden behind them echoes in the room. “What happened, Logan?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. What I meant was, I’ve never let a girl in my bed before. I’ve never laid beside them and not made a move. Those girls may have had my body but you’ve got something more.”
“What’s that?” My pulse races so fast it’s teetering on the edge of a heart attack. Please say heart; tell me you love me because my feelings for you are so intense, I don’t know what else they could be.
“Doesn't matter. You're not ready for it.” He puts an arm around me and pulls me back onto his chest.
21
Danika
I didn’t mean to fall asleep in Logan’s bed, it just happened. One minute we’re watching a documentary on HBO about McDonald’s and the next thing I know Logan’s alarm is going off. It was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months, but I know if Dad catches me, he’s going to be pissed.
I sneak through the kitchen door and close it slowly. Carefully. It’s 5:15, Dad gets up at six like clockwork, no matter how late he goes to bed. If I tip-toe upstairs and slip under the covers, he’ll never know I was gone all night.
I pad through the dark kitchen, fearful that turning the light on will somehow magically wake him early because of course that would be my luck.
“And where have you been, young lady?”
I jump and cover my racing heart with my hand. The light above the dining room table flicks on, casting shadows on his face. Dad’s sitting there, newspaper open on the hard wood table, coffee in hand. Amusement dances across his face. I’ve never snuck out before or back in for that matter. At least, to his knowledge I haven’t. “Holy hell, Dad. You scared the crap out of me.”
He chuckles, clearly finding this situation more amusing than I do. “Imagine how I felt walking into your room this morning, discovering your bed just as empty as it was when I went to sleep.”
I slide into the chair across from him and steal a sip of his coffee. It’s a dark roast with cream, no sugar. Not my personal favorite, but it was mom’s. “You’re awfully calm.”
“Well, I figured this was coming. You and Logan were close before we left. And when he showed up Saturday with that necklace,” he points to the sapphire I’ve yet to take off. “I knew all bets were off.”
I wipe the sleep from my eyes with my palms then run my fingers down my cheeks. It’s too early for this conversation. I don’t know what to say. So Dad speaks for me. “What is going on between you two?”
I set his mug back on the table and slide it across the hardwood surface. Mom would have a fit if she were still here. She hated water rings or condensation from cups on her antique table. But Mom’s not here anymore. I frown, the constant reminder dampening my morning. “Nothing. We’re just friends.”
Dad crosses his arms and clucks his tongue. “Uh-huh. Just friends my ass.” He smirks. “So you’ve become friends who have sleepovers?”