Josh shifts Bryson over his shoulder and pats his back. When he burps, Josh places him in the bassinet and pats his back until he falls asleep again. The nurse on duty beams, nodding approvingly at Josh’s daddy skills.
/> I bite my tongue and push back a rage I’ve never felt before. Jealousy isn’t something I wrestle with often, but watching that girl give him googly eyes pisses me off. I link my hand with his as we walk past her and out of the NICU.
“You’re good at that.”
Josh pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me. “What?”
“Being a daddy.” I slip my hand into his back pocket, a move I saw on a Netflix rom-com, only in the movie the guy’s hand was in the girl’s pocket. It works. Josh looks down at me, a playful grin on his face.
Josh opens the passenger door for me when we reach the parking garage. “It’s pretty late. We should probably get your car. It’s not in the best part of town.”
I get in and wait for him to take his place at the driver’s side. My heart is racing. I’m nervous to make the first move with us, but in reality I’m responding to the million moves Josh made to try and get me here. I just hope I’m not too late. “Do you think I could come back to your house tonight?”
His lips twitch and I can tell he’s fighting a grin. “Of course. Mi casa es su casa.”
My stomach twists. Had we both not overreacted back in December, his home could have been my home. Josh must feel the same heaviness fall between us because he lifts the center console and pulls me closer. I lean against him, closing my eyes as he kisses my crown.
It won’t be easy, but I think we’ve still got a shot.
That is, if he still wants it.
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but it must have been on the ride to my car, because I have no memory of crawling into Josh’s bed. I peel the covers back and walk over to the window. The morning light momentarily blinds me. When my pupils adjust, I peek through the curtains. Just as I thought, my car isn’t in the driveway.
I stretch my arms up, noticing but not caring that my jeans from last night are lying on the floor. Either I kicked them off in my sleep, or Josh pulled them off because he knows how I feel about sleeping with pants on.
He knocks at the door and waits for my come in before walking inside. “I thought you might be hungry.” He set a tray with some orange juice and an onion bagel with cream cheese on the dresser.
“You remembered.” My cheeks heat against my will, which causes Josh’s lips to lift in the corners. I missed his smile. Mom has gotten on my case that I must have been having too much fun in Florida because my laugh lines are deeper. I smile, purposely, because I refuse to limit my emotions for beauty.
He sits on the edge of the bed, that gleeful grin faltering, and shrugs. “Is it lame to say I ate your favorite breakfast every day because I missed you?” He doesn’t give me a chance to answer before shaking his head and adding, “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“Josh.” I exhale a heavy breath then sit beside him. This was the conversation I ran from last night at Hattie’s house. I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t know what I wanted. My heart told me to give him another chance, that our problems stemmed from a stupid misunderstanding. But my head told me to be cautious. But, after seeing him at the hospital with Bryson last night, I know what I want now.
“Don’t.” Josh falls onto the bed and stares up at the ceiling. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot. Cheeks blotchy and red. “Don’t say goodbye. If you’re going to leave, just do it.”
“Josh,” I whisper, taking his hand in mine. “I have to leave, but that doesn’t mean I want to.”
His silence hurts more than any words he could say. All he’s done since I left is beg for me to come back. In a way, he’s already said everything he wanted. It’s my turn now.
“I love you.”
This gets his attention. He turns his head towards me but still doesn’t say anything. Not gonna lie, it’s like a knife in my stomach. My chest constricts, but I push through the anxiety because if I don’t get these words out now, I never will.
“If you still want me, I’m willing to give us a shot again, but it’s not gonna be easy. I’m living with Colson in Georgia because I lost my apartment. My parents have no idea. If they found out, they’d cut me off, so flying back and forth isn’t an option. I’m willing to do whatever it takes, though, if you are.”
“Layla.” Josh pushes onto one arm and cups my cheek with his other hand. “All I’ve wanted was another chance with you. I don’t care how hard it is. I’m in.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He kisses me and pulls me on him. I straddle his lap, my fingers curling at the base of his neck. He runs his hands down my sides and flips us until he’s on top. “I love you too.”
Tears well in my eyes. I’m relieved and elated and terrified all at once. So far, I’m not a fan of love. It’s hurt more than I ever thought possible. It’s also the best thing I’ve felt in my life. “You do?”
“That’s a stupid question. Of course I do.”
“Alright, on the count of three, you’re going to read each other’s sign.” Our photographer, Chelle, waits for us to write something on a dry erase board. I know just what to say.
We’re supposed to be shooting Bryson’s first birthday pictures for his party next week. We got the cute single baby shots and the family ones out of the way. All that’s left is the cake smash.