Standing here, in the Vera Wang original my mother insisted I wear, I am lost. Lost to the man, to the memories of years that are good, bad, and good God Almighty, fucking ugly. But Ben and I are still here. In a world where we all flounder within, this man is all I can see. First, we were friends, then lovers, and now as always, he is my everything.
As the preacher asks us to repeat our vows, Bennie’s words shake me to my core.
“I take you, Suzanne Irene Montgomery, to be my wife. To forever be faithful to, love, and cherish. I will forever lay my life down before yours. In good times or worse. We will always be the home team. I have loved you from the moment you ran me down…”
“I nudged you,” I interject and have everyone snickering.
“May I continue?”
“Yes, please.”
“As I was saying, the day you ran me over and got out of the car with your Jersey attitude and all your spit and vinegar, I was irrevocably changed. Football was no longer what sustained my every thought. That day, I discovered what it meant to love another more than myself. I have been yours since and will forever be dedicated to you and you alone. You are the reason my heart beats, and for you alone it continues to. I thank God and your fanciful fairies and ladybugs every day for you. I promise I will protect your heart and dreams while I walk beside you for eternity. For that, my love, is what we have.”
“You fucker! I can’t compete with that,” I whisper and have him chuckling. “But I’ll try.” I wipe my eyes, take a deep breath, and say the words that have been in my heart since I first laid eyes on him.
“Ben, my Bennie. You’re finally mine. You were everything I needed and didn’t want and I’m so grateful you refused to let me run. Thank God you aren’t a quitter. You are the anchor to so many but have always made sure I knew I was loved. I may have nudged you all those years ago, but you sacked me that day.” Derrick and Zoey’s laughter has me looking in their direction. I know I bumbled things and my face reddens. But as always, Ben pulls my attention back to him. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, love?”
“For being me.”
“Suz, you be you. It’s what I love about you.”
“I found my sister mate when I was a freshman in high school and thanks to Zoey, I found my soul mate. To be able to say you have found home, and mean it, truly mean it, is a gift. Which is what you have given to me. You are my home, you have offered me a safe place to land and in loving arms. For that alone I am forever grateful. I could lose everything, but if you are there beside me, I know we will be okay. You’ve embraced my quirky and off-center beliefs and love my sass and have accepted me for me. I never needed a dragon slayer, but you are always there to do so. My life has been enriched because of you. My world will always begin and end with you. There is so much I promise you. To always be your loudest cheerleader and defend every decision you make. To cherish every moment of our time together. To respect and honor you. I even promise to rub your throwing arm. But mostly, I promise my heart will forever be yours. You are the reason it beats. You showed me how to be the best version of myself. Thank you for loving me. I love you.”
“With the vows exchanged, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ben, you may now kiss your bride.”
Four Years Later
Holding my daughter in my arms is the greatest gift Suz could ever give me. I thought the day we married I had hit the lottery. Today, with my wife asleep and resting, our parents surrounding us, and my baby girl in my arms, nothing comes close to this moment.
Nine years ago, I never thought we would be here today. The day I was drafted, it never occurred to me life would turn out this way. Everything I had ever known was turned upside down. Suzie still had a year of school to go, I was halfway across the country, Derrick was with a different team for the first time in our careers, and Zo had gone off the reservation.
It took a lot of hard work to get us to this day. Despite my schedule, I made sure I had time for my girl. It wasn’t easy and took calendar reminders to keep up with one another. That first year was the hardest we have had to overcome.
Looking down into my daughter’s eyes, the color so much like my own, I know she is going to take after her mother and cause a lifetime of joy and heartache. My girl isn’t easy. She is smart, too smart, but she is the sun and moon.
Looking around the room, my only wish is that those surrounding us find the happiness Suz and I have.
Spotting Alish, I chuckle at how difficult it was to win her over. My profession, unwillingness to kowtow, and easy acceptance of Suz wanting to start her own consulting business did not win the good Senator over. However, something changed the instant she found out she was going to be a grandmother, and she finally came around.
Whitehall will always be a bit of a wildcard to me. Over the years, I have discovered he loves his daughter, but is unable to express it. It’s a riddle I’m unwilling to work through. All I care about is that the man shows up for his daughter.
Derrick and Zoey have provided us with the biggest dilemma as of late. They are the constants in our lives. Both having known us since childhood. If only they could set their prides aside and simply be.
Ally squirms in my arms and has her mother waking.
“Does she need to eat?”
“You are fucking beautiful.”
Pushing a stray hair out of her face, Suzie looks around at our family and laughs. “You’ve lost your mind. Did you get sacked last week?” she says.
“No, but I did nine years ago.”
“Oh, God. Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
I get up out of the rocking chair and walk over to Suzie. I place our daughter into her portable plexiglass crib and kiss her head. She is as beautiful as her mother with her pink and blue bow beanie.