I nod in agreement, hoping for all of our sakes that they have this conversation sooner rather than later. While Oliver has played nice the last couple of days, that doesn’t mean it will last. Maybe if he learns the truth about his mother, this vendetta he has against my mom, which has bled over onto me, will be over, once and for all.
My attention is pulled away from my mom when my phone pings on the bed next to me. Glancing down, my heart nearly leaps right out of my chest when I see Zayden’s name pop up on the scr
een, followed by a text that reads I’m outside.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” I jump up off the bed like someone just lit the bedding on fire. “But can we finish this conversation later?”
“Um, okay.” She seems surprised by my abrupt movement.
“Zayden’s here,” I tell her in a way of explanation. And even though she has no idea what’s been going on these past few days, something about my expression must tell her that this is important.
“Okay.” She smiles as she stands. “Just don’t leave without letting me know.”
“I won’t.” I lean in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks, Mom.” With that, I take off out of my room, running down the stairs so fast it’s a wonder I don’t end up on my face at some point.
When I push my way outside, I spot Zayden’s truck out front, parked on the curb. A brisk wind blows across my face, stealing my breath, but I don’t let it deter me. I jog across the front lawn, no jacket, no shoes, with a trillion butterflies flapping wildly in my stomach.
When I pull open the passenger side door and catch sight of him for the first time in days, it takes everything in me not to burst into tears. I didn’t realize how much I needed this, how much I needed to see him, until this very second.
“Hey.” He gives me a tentative smile. “Get in.”
I do as he says, hoisting myself up into his truck before pulling the door closed.
I angle my body toward him, honestly not really sure what to say or do.
“Oliver came to see me,” Zayden confesses after a long moment of silence passes between us. He grips the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turn white. Even though he’s speaking to me, his eyes remain forward. “He told me what happened.” He blows out a heavy breath through his nose, his jaw locked tight.
“Zayden.…” I start, feeling like I owe him an explanation of some kind.
“Don’t.” He cuts me off. “Just let me say this, okay?” When his eyes finally look at me, there’s so much regret etched on his face that it nearly knocks the wind right out of me.
I nod, suddenly feeling even more uncertainty than I did just moments ago.
“I fucked up.” He releases the steering wheel. “What happened Saturday…. I have no excuse. You needed me, and I fucking left you there.” The words catch in his throat as he looks down at his hands that are now knotted in his lap.
“Don’t do that.” I scoot across the bench seat, not stopping until my leg is resting against his. “You didn’t know.” I slide my hand against his cheek before gently coaxing his eyes back to me.
“But I should have known. I thought… I thought you were cheating on me. After everything I put you through, you opened your heart to me, you gave me your body, and that’s how I repay you—by believing the absolute worst of you. Had something worse happened to you, had you been… raped.” He swallows hard. “I don’t think I could have lived with that.”
“Nothing happened. Look at me. You stopped it. You showed up and you stopped it. And I’m okay.” I reach up and push his hair away from his forehead. “You read the situation as you saw it. I don’t know what I would have done had the roles been reversed. I probably would have done the exact same thing.” I give him a reassuring smile. “This isn’t on you, Zayden. This is on me. I let Oliver get to me. I let him make me believe the worst in you. And because of that, I put myself in a really bad situation. This isn’t on you,” I repeat.
“Looks like Oliver played us both,” he grunts, his shoulders relaxing slightly.
“He did.” I blow out a small sigh. “But what he did doesn’t change how I feel about you. No matter how messed up everything has been over the past few days.”
“It doesn’t change the way I feel about you either. If anything, this whole thing has made me realize just how much you really do mean to me.” He shifts, turning so that we’re facing each other. “My whole life has been a parade of users and abusers. Full of people who only care about themselves. I learned from very early on to keep people at arm’s length, but then you came along, and for the first time in my life, I found myself wanting to be close to someone. Wanting to let someone in. I’ve never felt that way about a girl before.” He smiles. “Fuck, I sound like a pussy.”
“You do not.” I shove at his shoulder. He snags my hand and lifts it to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to my palm.
“I do. But I don’t fucking care.” His ocean blue eyes bore into mine. “Just tell me I haven’t lost you.” His words are almost pleading, bringing every emotion that has been brewing in my chest straight to the surface.
“You haven’t lost me,” I croak, tears stinging the backs of my eyes. “You are the only thing I want, Zayden. The only thing in this world that feels right to me.”
“I’m in love with you, Rylee.” The words fall from his lips so effortlessly that it’s almost like he’s said them a hundred times before.
The tears I’ve been holding at bay for days break free. All the devastation and uncertainty I’ve been lost in for the last few days evaporates in an instant. And when Zayden looks at me the way he’s looking at me right now, it’s hard to remember ever feeling them.
My chest swells and my hands tremble.