Maisy laughs at something on the TV, and I look over at her. My heart hurts when I see the same indent in her chin that Judge has. It still amazes me how much they look alike. When she was first born, the similarities took me by surprise. It took a long time for me to be able to look at her and not feel a pinch of pain. My daughter, who is my very own miracle, means more to me than anything in this world, but knowing she was part of the man I so desperately loved, a man who so carelessly tossed me aside, was hard to get past.
“Mom? You okay?”
I lift my eyes and find Maisy’s worried ones. “Yeah, sweetie. I’m okay.”
Her frown deepens. “You looked like you were about to cry.”
I wipe whatever look she’s talking about off my face and offer a smile. “I promise, I’m fine.”
She looks at me doubtfully. Maisy’s always been very smart and intuitive for her age, but I’m the adult. It’s me who should be worrying about her, not the other way around.
“Are you hungry? It’s about time for lunch.”
She brings her feet to the couch and crosses her legs. “Can we wait until Judge gets here?
”
“Sure, baby.”
I get up from the couch to grab a bottle of water.
“Mom?” I turn back to her. “Judge is mad at you, isn’t he?”
See? Intuitive.
I sit back down on the couch. “He is. There’re things that happened years ago. Things we both did that hurt each other.”
She pinches her lips out to the side. “Can’t you both just apologize?”
I contemplate her suggestion. Did I ever apologize for keeping Maisy a secret? Thinking back to the one night we discussed it, I don’t think I did. Not that it would do any good. Of course, Judge never apologized for his part either.
I give my attention back to Maisy. “Sometimes an apology isn’t enough,” I tell her truthfully.
“But you won’t know unless you try, right? Maybe it will be enough.”
Tears prick my eyes at her innocence. One day she won’t feel the same way as she does now. Life will get to her and she’ll realize it’s not as simple as she wants to believe. I won’t always be there to protect her from harsh realities.
I lean down and kiss her forehead, breathing in her pure and clean scent.
“Maybe.” It’s the only answer I can give her without crushing her optimistic view of the world.
There’s a knock at the door, and it brings my nerves back to the forefront. Maisy sits up straighter and drops her socked feet to the floor, her expression turning excited.
I get up from the couch and go to the door. Pulling in a steadying breath, I grip the knob and pull the door open. My breath blows out on a whoosh at my first sight of him in days. My eyes drink him in.
He has on a dark-gray button-up dress shirt over his hard chest with the first couple of buttons undone, showing off a small glimpse of tanned skin beneath. A pair of black slacks mold over his thick thighs, and he has on dress shoes. His dark-brown hair is perfectly styled, and he has a hint of a shadow on his chin and cheeks. Back in the day it didn’t happen often, but I’ve always loved when he went a day without shaving.
It takes a lot of effort on my part, but I manage to hide the shiver racing through me.
My cheeks flush when I lift my eyes to his. One brow is raised, and I know I was caught checking him over.
I clear my throat and open the door wider. “Hello, Judge. Come on in.”
“Thanks,” he mutters.
He steps inside and drops the small travel bag he was carrying on the floor by the door. His eyes immediately move to the living room. Once he sees Maisy standing nervously by the couch, a look of relief softens his expression.
“Hi,” Maisy says, her hands twisting together in front of her.