“Morning.”
“Do you have to work tonight?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I took off.”
“Good.” She snuggles impossibly closer.
She yawns and looks at me, and I can see her thoughts flitting through her mind. Finally, she says, “I want to go see Beckett.” She swallows thickly. “His grave, I mean,” she adds, though I obviously knew what she meant.
I nod, continuing to brush my fingers through her hair. I think it calms me as much as it does her. “We can do that.”
We need to do that. Neither of us have been back since we buried him.
I can see the fear in her eyes, the sadness and pain, and I wish I could take it away, but I know she sees the same in mine, so at least she knows she’s not alone.
We’re in this together.
“Maybe …” she starts and hesitates. “Maybe we could have a picnic with him.”
“Sounds good.” I cup her cheek, rubbing my thumb over her lip.
I can feel my chest tightening with pain and worry, but I know we both need this. Beckett may be gone in the physical sense, but he’ll always be in our hearts and minds, and we have to acknowledge that. Trying to forget and push the pain aside doesn’t solve anything. Nova ignored her grief, and I set mine aside to be there for her.
Both weren’t healthy things to do.
When you’re feeling a certain way, there’s a reason, and pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away. It makes it worse.
I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and we lie there looking at each other.
“Remember,” I begin softly, “whatever you’re feeling is normal, and it’s okay.”
She nods. “I know. It just sucks.”
“It does,” I agree. “But we’re in this together.”
I know as long as we stick together we can get through anything, even this. Grief doesn’t go away overnight, it takes time, and we’ll have to be patient and trust each other.
“There’s something I want to show you,” I tell her suddenly, a grin breaking out over my face.
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “What did you do?”
I blink innocently. “What makes you think I did something?”
“You have a funny look in your eyes.” She eyes me warily.
“This is good … I think. Trust me,” I beg.
I get out of bed and reach for her, dragging her out since she’s not moving.
“Jace!” She laughs, kicking me away.
Having enough of her protests, I pick her up and carry her. She struggles to get out of my arms, but we both know she’s not going anywhere.
I set her down and open the door to the spare bedroom.
I see her body stiffen with fear before she finally braves a look.