Five seconds later Finn starts to cry and then all hell breaks loose.
Ryland runs through the house, shrieking like a banshee, and Kira begins to cry, asking when her mommy and daddy are coming back.
I glare at Xander. “This is your fault.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “We’ve got this.”
“How do you turn them off?” I point at the crying baby and screaming Ryland.
“They’re kids, Thea, you don’t turn them off. You comfort them.” He glares at me, like somehow it’s my fault I have no motherly instincts whatsoever.
“Well, okay, mother hen.” I purse my lips. “Tell me what to do.”
“You take care of the baby, and I’ll wrangle the toddler. That one looks most dangerous.”
“What about the other one?” I ask, pointing to the crying four-year-old on the floor.
“She’s stationary for the moment, so I think we’re good.”
Xander runs after Ryland, the toddler somehow having stripped naked, even his diaper gone.
I remove the baby from the car seat and rock him in my arms. He’s drooling a lot and looks up at me with tear-filled blue eyes.
“Hi, Finn, how you doin’?” I ask, since I have no idea how to talk to a baby.
His pouty lips turn down in a frown and he only screams harder.
I bounce him on my hip and make a funny face. That seems to help some. At least he starts to cry less.
“You like that?” I ask. I stick my tongue out at him and wiggle it around. “What about that?”
He giggles and reaches for my tongue.
“Ah, we like that, huh?” I tickle his chubby belly and he laughs loudly. His cheeks are still damp with tears, but no fresh ones fall. “I can so do this whole parenting thing. I’m awesome.”
Since the baby has quieted I bend down to Kira. “Hey, sweetie.”
She looks at me between her fingers and hiccups. “Where’s my mommy and daddy? I don’t know you.”
“They’ll be back soon, I promise. You’re hanging out with us right now. Do you like movies? Or want to play a game?”
“I like movies.” She brightens.
I hold out my hand. “Come on, let’s find a movie then.”
I lead her out of the foyer and into the family room. When she sees the couch she scurries up onto it. I grab the remote and sit down, holding the baby.
I find the kids movies On Demand and let her pick. She goes with some recent animated movie and I click to let it begin playing.
“Do you want some popcorn?” I ask and her eyes light up like I’ve asked her if she wants to go shopping—at least, I imagine that’s what I look like when someone mentions shopping.
She nods enthusiastically. I keep a hold on the baby and go to make the popcorn.
Xander is still chasing the naked toddler through the house.
How did the kid get naked? Seriously.
The popcorn finishes popping and I pour it into the extra large bowl we have. I carry it and the baby back into the family room and sit down next to Kira. She’s completely sucked into the movie.