He flips the screen toward us and the baby looks back at us.
“Look at the little legs.” I point, and you can see the baby kicking them around.
The doctor takes some measurements and snaps some photos. He presses another button and the heartbeat thunders through the room. It’s so strong and fast sounding.
I glance over at Xander and he has his left hand pressed to his mouth, looking in awe at the screen.
I thought, maybe by now, it’d get old but it still feels awe-inspiring each time.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” Xander asks, looking from the screen to the doctor. “Do you know?”
Dr. Hawkins smiles. “You want to know? I can tell you.”
“Yes!” we both shout simultaneously.
I hold my hand out to Xander and he takes it, squeezing it.
Dr. Hawkins smiles. “It’s a girl.”
“It’s a girl?” I gasp. “Are you sure?” Tears begin to fall, and I’m helpless to stop them.
“I can tell you with one-hundred percent certainty that it’s a girl. Look right there.” He points at the screen between the legs. “That right there means it’s a girl.”
I glance at Xander and find that he’s crying too. “Xander,” I breathe. “We’re going to have a daughter.”
He leans over and cups the back of my neck, drawing my lips to his. He kisses me deeply, our tears mingling together.
“This is real,” I tell him.
He wipes my tears away and smiles. “So real.”
We’re having a little girl.
I would’ve been happy with a boy too, but a girl … I don’t know, it feels right.
Like she was always meant to be a part of our family. This wasn’t how or when I wanted to have a baby, but things don’t happen unless we’re ready for them, and we must’ve needed this little girl.
“Thank you,” Xander murmurs, rubbing his thumb over my forehead.
“For what?” I ask as the doctor finishes.
“For making us a family.”
My throat closes up.
A family.
Our family.
Xander, Baby, and me.
Xander
We head out of the doctors’ office, both of us still kind of in awe.
I’ve known for weeks, two months, actually, that I’m going to be a dad. But it’s one thing knowing that and another actually visualizing your child.
A little girl.