I had a steady boyfriend back home and we had sex, but it was the basics. He never gave me oral and I didn’t ask. We broke up two years ago. Last year, I was still recovering from everything that went down between us so I wasn’t interested in going out with anyone. Not even for a one-night stand. All I wanted was to keep my head down and focus on school. The rest didn’t matter like it does to other people.
One of his hands skims up my stomach and his fingers dig into my breast. It’s not gentle, but it’s not rough, either, and I love it. It’s like he wants me to know that this is real, that he’s here too, that he knows how crazy I feel. He pushes the cup of my bra aside so he can grasp me fully, and I wiggle my way out of the straps and sit up enough that I can remove it.
I’m completely naked now and he’s still dressed, but I suddenly don’t care like I did before. I’m going to blame it on the pure high I’m riding.
His fingers join his tongue and that’s it.
“Jace,” I pant. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.”
My body shakes with my orgasm. I’ve never in all my life experienced an orgasm that powerful and he hasn’t even fucked me yet.
His body leaves mine so suddenly that I feel like I’ve been showered with ice water.
My high quickly disappears. “Jace?” I question.
He tugs on his hair, his jaw tight.
“Jace?” I say again, damming back the tears.
Something’s wrong.
“I shouldn’t have done that.” His words are no more than a broken whisper but they hit me like shrapnel. Each individual word cuts into my skin, lacerating the tender and frayed edges of my already worn heart.
Before I can protest, he turns sharply on his heel and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
I lie there, completely naked and vulnerable, wondering what I did and if this is my fault.
Nova
“You seriously don’t know where Jace is?” Thea asks incredulously as we’re guided to a booth in the back.
“No,” I say. “He left this morning and he didn’t say where he was going.”
“Huh,” Cade mutters, and I can tell he’s thinking. “That’s weird. If he was going to leave I would’ve thought he would’ve gone last night.” He waggles his brows up and down so we know for sure what he’s implying.
He and Rae sit on one side of the booth, and I sit with Thea on the other.
Xander’s mom chose to stay behind at the hotel since her husband and daughter are on their way in.
I pick up my menu and scan the items. Nothing stands out to me. I’m not hungry at all after what transpired this morning.
It was great, magical even, all up until he ruined it.
I’ve never felt so humiliated in all my life, and that’s saying something.
I feel like crying but I’ve refused to let a single tear fall because of his stupidity. This is what I spent the whole last year of my life avoiding, and this shows me that I was right to avoid it.
The waitress comes by, and I order a coffee and water.
I look at the menu some more and pick out something random so I don’t hold everyone else up. Besides, it doesn’t matter what I order—I won’t be able to eat.
The waitress comes back with our drinks and we place our food order.
I’m quiet, subdued, but no one calls me on my melancholy attitude because I’m like this most of the time.
I’m the loner.
The shadow.