I stared into Jonathon’s foreign silver and black eyes. He was more monster than human right now but he was still my Jonathon. I don’t think he could ever be a monster. His eyes were animalistic but I could still see the turmoil rolling like a storm in them. I showed him with mine that I wanted him to. I wanted him to bite me. But I did not move closer to him or make any movement. I didn’t want to frighten him when he was in this state, I knew he could rip me to shreds if he wanted to, but his expression was vulnerable. I wanted him to come to this conclusion on his own but I couldn’t help but prod him in the direction I wanted him to go.
I looked directly into his predators eyes. I made sure that no fear showed in mine, just pure undiluted desire.
“Please,” I whispered into the wind.
He was thoughtful for a moment turmoil still rolling thickly through him. Do what’s right or do what’s so, so, wrong but so, so good?
With a moan that was purely male and a mix between pleasure and pain his teeth sank into my flesh.
Bliss.
Chapter Twelve: Desire
I woke up encompassed in Jonathon’s arms. I was surprised to find him asleep. I guess between not getting enough sleep, eating last night and then drinking my blood it had lulled him to sleep like a peaceful child.
His vampire grip was tight and I couldn’t move a millimeter and honestly I didn’t want too. I would have thought that between the cold outside and the cold of his arms I would have been a frozen popsicle but I felt strangely warm. Maybe drinking his blood had made me immune to the cold, I mused.
The way he held me we were facing each other. My face was looking directly into his glorious chest. I had to tilt my head back to look into his angel’s face. This motion hurt my neck slightly where he had bit me but it wasn’t anything unbearable.
Gosh, he’s beautiful, I thought. I had never truly gotten to appreciate his beauty. I had never had the chance to stare at him with no shame. He always tried to hide himself from me like he was ashamed of himself. I could study every bronze eye lash and every golden curl. I traced his mouth with my index finger and then his pale purple eyelids. Everything about him was so perfect. His vampire skin was flawless, no scars, except on his neck where he had been bit to become a vampire, no pores, not even a hint of stubble, his skin was completely smooth, hard but soft at the same time.
It was like rubbing a piece of granite; it was smooth but cold and hard but precious. His eye lashes were soft and there were many of them. His blond curly hair made him look even more like an angel. He was a man but a statue. He was a person frozen in time. He was perfect and he was mine.
I was memorizing his features when his eyes began to crack open and he grinned.
“See something you like?” he asked, touching my nose.
“Hmm, not really,” I said kissing him.
“Is that so?” He said, moving so that I was lying on my back on top of the air mattress and he was hovering above me.
“Take it back,” he said kissing my chin and then my neck where he had bit me. When he kissed the bite mark he instantly went rigid. His muscles tightened and he pulled away from me. “We shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid and wrong of me to let that happen. It’s only going to make the bloodlust stronger,” he said putting on a clean shirt.
“I know but it felt so good,” I sighed blissfully pulling my knees up and resting my chin on them.
“It was pleasurable for me as well Kylie but that isn’t the point,” he huffed, pulling the black shirt down over his pale, washboard abs.
“Then what is?” I asked.
“It’s dangerous and addicting. I could drink too much of your blood and kill you. Do you have any idea of what kind of pain that would put me through!” He cried and he looked like a man on fire.
“You’re right but I still liked it and honestly Jonathon I don’t think you could kill me. You love me too much,” seeing him begin to protest I held up my hand and he closed his mouth to let me finish, “and even if you did kill me, I can’t think of a more enjoyable way to go.”
“How can you speak so calmly of your own demise?” He asked in shock. A fire raged behind his silver eyes and he looked like he wanted to shake me.
“Because you would be the one ending my life. If Selena was about to bite my neck off I’d much rather have you do it,” I reasoned with a shrug. Jonathon growled at me.
“You’ve thought about this?” He asked, shock written clearly across his face.
“Yes, I have. If Selena comes to kill me and it looks like she is going to succeed in doing so I want you to stop fighting her and come to me and kill me. I’d rather you’re face be the last one I see before I die than hers. Can you do that for me?” I asked, running my fingers through my hair so I wouldn’t have to look him in the eye and see his shock.
“No,” his voice bellowed. “I can’t do that. I can’t have you die by my own hands. That would be the worst kind of torment imaginable. You’d be dead and not by someone else’s hands, no, you’re blood would be on mine,” he said looking at his hands like they were already drenched in my red life force.
“But Jonathon don’t you see my point. You won’t hurt me at least not compared to what Selena would do. I know you, and you would kill me as gently as possible. You killing me would drive Selena into further madness. She would be so filled with rage at not being the one to kill me that she would be an easy target to take down. She would be dead and everything would calm down and go back to normal,” I said, pa
inting the picture of my death clearly for him.
If it was possible he was paler than he had been a minute ago. “Nothing would go back to normal,” he spat, “you’d be dead.”