I wondered how much longer he’d be satisfied with simple touches and standing outside my door.
I rolled onto my side, away from the door, and squished my eyes shut.
Behind my lids, Trent’s image filled my mind. I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried. He was always there.
Pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes I let out a groan. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? Didn’t he see that I was no good for him? I would never be able to love him when I couldn’t even love myself.
chapter two
I had the same dream that night that I’d had at least once a month since I was sixteen.
The twigs snap beneath my bare feet and my heart races in my chest as I try not to make a sound. It’s pointless though. My heavy breathing is bound to give my location away to the teachers. If they catch me sneaking over to the boys’ tents, they’ll send me home, and home is the last place I want to be right now. For one night I want to be a normal teenager. I don’t want to have take care of Ivy.
I push all thoughts of my crappy home life away—for the night at least—and stop outside the tent I know is Trent’s.
I swallow thickly, counting to ten.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
And then again.
I know that behind the fibers of the tent Trent is waiting for me.
Wetting my lips with a flick of my tongue, I reach out, grabbing the zipper between my thumb and index finger.
I slowly pull it up, easing the zipper open. I’m positive my heart is about to beat out of my chest. I count its beats, but not even the counting can calm me tonight.
When there’s a hole large enough for me to fit through, I slip inside.
A hand reaches out and grabs my arm. I shriek as I begin to fall but the hand holding my arm releases me and comes across my mouth to stifle the sound.
“Shhh, Row,” Trent whispers and the sound of his voice makes me shiver.
“Sorry,” I mouth when he moves his hand.
He eases his weight off me and closes the tent. “I didn’t think you would come,” he admits, biting his lips adorably. His teeth are slightly crooked and there is a space between the front ones, but I think it only makes him more handsome. I’d never been attracted to a guy before I laid eyes on Trenton. He turned my insides to mush, but more than that, he was my best friend. When I moved here earlier this year, I’d been so scared. I’d never been the new girl before and I was shy. Making friends had never been easy for me. But Trent had taken me under his wing. I’d questioned his motives at first. After all, why would a guy as gorgeous as Trent want to be my friend? I quickly learned though, he didn’t have any friends. He was a loner…an outcast like me…and we clicked. Since I transferred to this high school in November, we’d grown closer every day. Our friendship blossoming into more…he wasn’t my boyfriend…that was too simple of a word. He was my everything…my air…my gravity…he kept me centered. It was spring now, and with the blossoming of the first flowers, we’d decided to take our relationship to the next level.
His home wasn’t an option for what we had planned and neither was mine. In fact, I’d only been to his house once, and he’d never been to mine. I didn’t want anyone to know what I had to deal with at home. Some things were better left in the dark.
“Row,” he flicks his finger against the end of my nose, “what are you thinking about?”
“You,” I whisper.
“Me?” He grins crookedly. “Good things, I hope.” His blue eyes sparkle when he talks. I like that he’s always so animated. He’s not like other guys that try to hide their feelings. He’s real.
“Always,” I reach up, cupping his face in my hands. A light dusting of stubble covers his cheeks.
“Are you scared?” He asks.
“Yes,” I admit. I have no secrets with Trent.
“We don’t have to,” he assures me, pulling away.
“I know that,” I grab onto his blue sweatshirt, holding on tight. “I want to. I promise.”
He stares at me, unsure of if I’m lying or not.
“If you want me to stop what I’m doing at any time,” he closes his eyes as if his words pain him, “tell me and I’ll stop, Row. I mean it. I don’t want to pressure you.”