“Is a dad. He’s a parent. He’s protective. What did you expect? He’ll calm down, they’ll talk, they’ll forgive, and she’ll still love you.”
“I can’t see how things will ever be good between him and me—I didn’t listen to him. I couldn’t stay away and then … what he saw. If I’m to be with her, how can I expect her to deal with that kind of animosity?”
“Then fix it,” she tells me. “Go to him. Explain how you feel about her—he’ll see the truth in your eyes and he won’t be able to deny you.”
“I don’t know if I can go back. Not after how I left things.”
“If you wait too long you won’t be able to,” she admits. “You have to decide—do you want to live the rest of your life without the girl you love, or do you want to experience a joy so few ever truly find.” She rubs my cheek, her fingers grazing over the nasty bruise Hayes left there. “I take it he gave you this?” She raises a brow.
“It’s no less than I deserved.”
“Why are you determined to convince yourself you’re not good enough for her? That you somehow deserve this?” Again, she gently touches the bruise.
“Because it’s the truth. I slept with women left and right. I used them. I drank too much. I partied too hard. I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore not until…”
“Not until her,” she finishes for me. “She reminded you of who you’ve always been. This is you. This is my Hollis, the boy I raised to be a brilliant, loving, kind and caring man. Are you really going to give it all up, a future, because of one incident? Because that’s not the boy I raised. My boy is a fighter, he goes after what he wants and doesn’t give up. He would never cower so easily.”
“I just want her to be happy,” I confess.
Her voice is soft, tired sounding. “Why do you think you’re not her happiness?”
37
Mia
“Happy birthday to me,” I sing glumly, blowing out the single candle in the cupcake Kira set on the bar top in my kitchen. I rest my chin in my hand feeling glum.
Hollis is gone. Cannon, Rush, and Fox too.
The town suddenly feels so devoid of life—like something vibrant and essential has fled.
“Cheer up, Reese’s cup,” Kira says, hopping up on the counter with her own cupcake in her hand. She peels back the wrapper and takes a bite. “It could be worse.” The words come out distorted around her mouthful of cake and icing.
“How could this possibly be worse? My dad saw me having sex. He punched my boyfriend. And now my boyfriend is gone. Hell, my boyfriend isn’t even my boyfriend anymore.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It can’t get much worse,” she says with a playful smile and a shrug. “But, girl, it’s your birthday. You’re twenty-three now. We have to do something to celebrate.”
“I don’t feel like celebrating,” I tell her. “I’m staying home, eating chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips, and watching Netflix in my jammies. I’m not deviating from that plan,” I warn, holding up a finger to halt any protests she might have.
“Fine,” she grumbles. “Honestly, that sounds amazing. I miss Rush.”
“You miss Rush?” I ask shocked, taking the candle out of the cupcake. I take a bite. Red velvet, my favorite.
“What?” she asks innocently. “He knows how to fuck—which is more than I can say for most guys our age. Do you have any idea how many men don’t know what a fucking clitoris is—if they think they’re going to orgasm and I’m not, they’re sorely mistaken.”
“Well, if you’re staying I think we should order pizza.”
“Mmm, pizza,” she hums. “I’ll order it now.” She does and then we pile on the couch, beneath several layers of blankets, and I put Beauty and the Beast on because I love the movie and for some reason it makes me think of Hollis and me. Clearly, I’m trying to make myself even more miserable.
When the pizza is delivered Kira jumps up and pays for it despite my protests. She insists it’s my birthday and I deserve it.
She closes the door and sits back down on the couch with the pizza box between us. I pick up a piece of cheese and pepperoni goodness and nearly moan. It tastes like heaven and erases any trace of the sourness I’ve had clinging to my tongue since my last conversation with Hollis days ago.
He’s gone for good now. Never coming back.
Not mine. Not anymore.
“There were plenty before you and there will be more after you.” His words echo through my skull.