Guilt stung him. Why had he cut off Bill’s stipend? Hammer didn’t need the fucking money. He’d inherited a trust fund he couldn’t possibly spend in three lifetimes. By comparison, the paltry amount he’d doled out to Bill was mere pennies. But the peace of mind had been priceless.
Right now, Hammer would gladly give every cent for that peace of mind again. But Bill confessing last week that he’d indeed attempted to rape Raine as a teenager had sent him off the deep end. If Hammer hadn’t cut off the stipend he’d paid to keep the animal at bay, she would be safe and sound and happily baking at Shadows.
He gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I should never have lost my temper and stopped paying him. This is my fault.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Macen,” Liam insisted. “I’m at fault. If I hadn’t been comparing the love she gave me, Raine wouldn’t have left the club.”
“Comparing? What the hell are you talking about?” Hammer’s brows slashed down in a scowl.
“When I came back from the hospital and lost the bloody plot, I accused Raine of loving you more than she does me,” Liam confessed, banging a fist against the car door.
And didn’t he wish he could take it all back now? That he hadn’t let exhaustion and frustration get hold of his tongue? He should merely have asked Raine about her feelings. If something unspeakable happened to her because he’d demanded that she prove her love for him with everything from sex to scones, he’d never forgive himself.
Hammer’s jaw dropped. “That’s the reason for the jealousy?”
“She’s loved you for years, Macen.” Liam swallowed down his regret. “I didn’t think she could ever…” He shook his head. “Then she proved me dead wrong earlier.”
Beck leaned in and poked his head between the seats. “Raine loves you just as much as she does Hammer. She wouldn’t have been so torn all this time if she didn’t.”
“I know that now, and I wish I’d never doubted her. She showed me everything in her heart.” Liam hung his head, then turned to Hammer. “You saw her do it, too.”
“I did, but do you believe her? No doubts?” Macen shot back.
“None,” Liam replied. “I was convinced the half dozen years she’d spent with you meant more than the five weeks we’ve been together. I feared I’d always come second. I was wrong.”
“It’s not the quantity; it’s the quality.” Hammer gripped the wheel tighter. “Besides, I didn’t tell her how I felt until you forced the issue—which you were right to do. You’ve given her so many things I didn’t. You still give her things I can’t. You see that, right?”
He nodded miserably. “I wish you’d smacked me sooner and told me I was out of line, mate.”
“Nothing I said would have convinced you. Raine had to open your eyes,” Hammer gave Liam’s shoulder a brotherly squeeze. “She did a fanfuckingtastic job of it, too.”
“She’s only whole when she’s with you both,” Beck interjected. “She’d never love one more than the other. At the lodge, she told you she would have both or neither of you because she’d rather live her life empty than half full.”
Liam remembered. Beck had nearly as much insight into Raine’s psyche as he and Hammer. The doctor was probably a damn sight more objective, too.
God, he’d wasted so much energy on jealousy he had no reason to feel. Liam didn’t know if he could stand the regret.
In his pocket, his phone buzzed. He jerked it free, hoping Raine had managed to reach out to him or even that Seth called with good news. Instead, he saw Gwyneth’s name pop up on his display. Why the devil would she be calling before six in the morning? Kyle might have taken a turn for the worse, Liam supposed, and he would be sorry if that were the case. But right now, he had to focus on finding Raine.
He shoved his phone back in his pocket.
The closer they drew to Bill’s house, the sharper his memories of his last visit here. The more his skin crawled. The decay that permeated every inch of Raine’s childhood home sent a shudder up Liam’s spine. How could anyone live in such squalor? And what was the state of the room Bill had locked Raine in right now?
Fear pumped through Liam’s veins like acid. He took little comfort in knowing that he and Hammer would ensure Bill was dead by sunrise. Instead, Liam couldn’t stop wondering what depravity Raine would be forced to endure before they rescued her. Or if they would be too late.
“If Bill wants money, why hasn’t he called for a ransom yet?” Beck pondered.
“Because he knows I’ll come looking for him. I’m sure he wants a little time with Raine so he can finish what he started when she was a kid.” Hammer looked ready to hit something again.