Raine crossed her arms over her chest, every muscle in her body shriveling. “I’m not ready. I can’t face it. Not yet.”
“How long do you need? How many days is enough? Or will you still be burying your head in the sand when you’re giving birth?”
“How long should it take me to accept that my whole life could be changing and I could lose everyone who means anything to me?” she shouted back, tears streaming. “I know you’ve been patient. I know I’m being illogical. I know you’re pissed off. I’m trying.”
“No, you tried when I had you alone at my lodge. You opened up that night. The minute I brought you back here to ‘help’ Hammer because he so desperately needed you…” Liam rolled his eyes. “You stopped. You’ve fed me nothing but shit since. Clearly, I overestimated your desire to submit to me.”
“You didn’t. Not at all.”
“Then what the hell is your problem? I’ve told you time and again that I’ll stand by you, no matter what. But I might as well be talking to a brick wall.” He tossed his hands in the air.
“Because no man has ever lied to a woman?”
“When have I ever lied to you, Raine?” Mouth flattening into a grim white line, he released her hair. “I’ve nothing else to say now.”
Liam turned his back on her.
Shock blanched her system, followed by an icy drench of guilt. He hadn’t lied to her—ever. Her father had. Hammer had. And she’d accused Liam of their sins.
Raine stood, looking at the tense set of his broad shoulders, his muscled back, his clenched fists. She forced herself to approach him. “That was unfair. I’m sorry. Liam… You’re right. You’ve always been wonderful. I don’t know how I could possibly deserve you.”
No apology or verbal bridge-mending was going to reach him now. Raine wanted to tell Liam how much she loved him, but saying it now would seem disingenuous. And making herself that vulnerable to him petrified her.
God, she was like a yo-yo, swinging between revealing the vulnerability he coaxed from her and shrouding herself behind her barricades like a coward. Raine knew she couldn’t keep holding out like this, but years of fears and insecurities didn’t melt away overnight.
And that test on the nightstand—the elephant in the room—only magnified everything.
“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “I always manage to screw up everything good that happens to me. And you’re the best.”
She worked up the courage to reach for his shoulder, but he jerked away. His rejection hurt like a physical blow.
“Please don’t shut me out.” Raine sniffled, dying inside. “I want to open up and share everything with you... I’m trying to trust and believe you. But I’ve never done that with anyone. Honestly, I’m lost. I’m not trying to be a bitch.”
He whirled around with narrowed eyes. “Did you just swear at me?”
Raine winced. “It slipped. Sorry.”
She just kept fucking up the words. He was too angry to hear them now anyway. Time to show Liam how much he meant to her. She only knew one way to do that.
With shaking fingers, Raine peeled off her lacy tank, shimmied out of her short skirt, unclasped her bra, then removed the last of her barriers, her thong. With shaking hands, she folded everything at his feet and sank to her knees, bowing her head. “Punish me, Sir. I’ve earned it.”
“You’ve more than earned it.”
As the weight of his words settled over her, Raine felt his stare rake her, scorch her. She couldn’t stop trembling.
“Love?” A hint of coaxing warmed his voice as he hooked a finger under her chin and lifted it. She had no choice but to meet his gaze. “Are you afraid of me?”
Despite his size and strength, Liam was gentle at heart. Of course, he’d punished her before, but always in a way designed to make her think more than hurt. Right now, he was all big bad Dom. Though she’d never seen this side of him, he didn’t frighten her. In fact, as anxious as she was, his power was like a beacon. She was deeply drawn to it.
“No, Sir. Never.”
“Then present.”
Her tummy knotted as she leaned forward and skimmed her palms along the rug until they stretched above her head. Ass lifting from her heels, she arched up in offering to him and rested her forehead on the carpet. Then Liam knelt beside her.
“Look at me.” His too-controlled tone sent a chill down her spine. She forced herself to comply, bracing for the worst. The heat of his body surrounded her. His warm breath fluttered over her ear. “I know you’re scared and worried about the ‘what ifs.’ But I’ve told you over and over that I expect you to share everything with me. You’re not doing that.”
Her heart wanted to. Her head hadn’t yet gotten the memo.