“No. You obviously want to talk about Juliet and what I didn’t do right. How was I to know? Before I could even come home, you had her cremated and buried, like you’d filed her away in a dusty cabinet. I didn’t even get to say good-bye. I thought you just wanted to forget her and move on.”
Hammer clenched his jaw. He’d been keeping the lid closed on this can of worms for years. Keep pushing, and I’ll open it right up. “You assumed, but you didn’t care enough to ask.”
“I didn’t pry,” Liam insisted, putting the plates out of Hammer’s reach, then crossing his arms over his chest.
He scoffed, his temper rising. “You didn’t want to know why my wife and your lover killed her goddamn self without expressing an ounce of unhappiness to either one of us?”
“Of course I did.” Liam stepped closer, his voice dropping. Goddamn it if he didn’t look somewhere between concerned and compassionate. “I offered to drop my project at work and come home. You said not to bother, so I tried to talk to you over the phone. But you were aloof, so I backed off…” He shook his head sadly. “I wasn’t disinterested, Macen. Jesus, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt like this. When you kept pushing me away, I thought you needed time to process. When you moved out here, I assumed you needed space, a fresh start…” He hung his head. “I worried that I was a reminder of a time you wanted to forget.”
“I wish to fuck I could,” Hammer said miserably. “I changed coasts, changed careers, and changed lives. Nothing made me want to really live again until Raine.”
“Shit. I didn’t start with her to hurt you. I know I’m a bit late, but…” Liam swallowed. “Why? Why did Juliet end herself, then? Do you know?”
“Yeah, and you don’t want to.”
“I do or I wouldn’t have asked.”
The backs of Hammer’s eyes ached. His throat closed up. “She left me a note. She wanted more attention.”
Liam rubbed at the back of his neck. “Frankly, mate, I’m not sure either of us could ever have given her enough attention. She was a bit starved, no matter what we did. I suppose it didn’t help that work kept me away for the last six weeks or so, but I called her. She knew I was coming back.”
“She was tired of being our ‘fuck doll.’”
“Juliet said that?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah, and neither of us realized she felt that way.”
“You’re right.” Liam blew out a breath. “The last time I saw her, she kissed me and told me to hurry home. Why didn’t she tell us that? She always struggled with communication, but—”
“She was pregnant.” Hammer dragged a hand through his hair and let loose a jagged breath as he slid down the wall and sat surrounded by broken crockery, miserable and defeated. “Eight weeks.”
Liam gaped. “Did you know?”
“Not until I read it in her note. I should have paid more attention.”
He swallowed, looking visibly pale. “Whose baby was it?”
“She wasn’t sure and she couldn’t handle the shame of not knowing whose name to list on the birth certificate. She knew we’d never let her go if she was pregnant, and she didn’t want to raise a child in our ‘den of depravity.’ Instead of communicating, she chose sleeping pills over life with us.”
“Fuck me dazed.” Liam slid down beside him, staring at the wall on the far side of the kitchen. “Didn’t you think the truth was important enough to share? Or did you imagine that I wouldn’t care?”
“I tried not to dump this on you. I tried to be a friend and save you this shit. Look how you repay me.”
Liam’s rage went from zero to zoom. He turned red, betrayal in his eyes. “You son of a bitch! You tell me all this now and pass it off as a favor? I would have been by your side in a heartbeat if you had bothered to fucking tell me.”
“Well, as a friend, you should have asked why. And now you’ve taken Raine from me. What sort of friend does that? All I’ve got left is Shadows. You want that, too?” He jumped to his feet and fished the keys out of his pocket. “Here you go. Don’t come back to me for anything else. I don’t have a goddamn thing left to give you.”
Liam’s eyes widened as he staggered upright. His mouth hung open as if Hammer had just punched him. “I don’t want those.” He shoved the keys out of Hammer’s hand. They skittered across the floor. “Now what the fuck are you saying? That Juliet was my fault?”
“Damn straight,” Hammer roared, shoulders back, chest heaving.
“How do you figure that?” he railed in return. “I didn’t shove the pills down her throat.”