“I’ve tried damn hard to shut you out of my heart, but you stole it so quickly after I laid eyes on you. I love you, precious. I always have, and damn me to hell, I always will.”
It had fucking killed him to deny her day after day for years. He’d helped her, yes. But he’d also brought her so much pain.
And today wouldn’t be any different.
“I’m so sorry, my sweet girl. I’m a pathetic excuse for a protector. I’ve tried to shelter you from everything that can harm you. That includes me.”
Goddamnit, the pain of constantly wanting her had finally grabbed him by the balls and squeezed hard. And he’d given in. But Raine was so deep inside him, he’d felt the relentless ache of trying to live without her for months and years...and it had been slowly driving him out of his mind.
Even as he called himself every kind of pervert, his cock jerked as he stared at her red, plump lips. Skimming his gaze over her alabaster flesh, a bittersweet smile curled upward. The marks of his possession colored her milky flesh. She’d be wearing them for days and have no choice but to remember this, remember him.
Wasn’t regret a bitch? And he had so much of it. That he couldn’t be the sort of man who’d be good for her. That he couldn’t, in good conscience, mold her into what he needed. That he was so goddamn warped he couldn’t settle for less.
Her raven hair spilled across his pale sheets, and Hammer reached out, threading his finger through her soft mane. Need clutched him with a desperate grip as he squeezed his hand in her hair and pressed his lips to hers.
She moaned in a dreamy whimper, eyes still closed, then nuzzled her cheek against his.
As much as he longed to slip inside her pussy one more time, he had to back off. He’d exhausted her. She couldn’t endure his unquenchable sexual need, which she only seemed to exacerbate. And that was only half the problem. Dread flooded his veins.
With a silent curse, he shook his head. He’d known from day one that Raine would never be able to acquiesce to the beast inside him. Not the way he needed her to. She was too innocent. Too fragile. Too headstrong in ways that would keep her from bending to all he’d demand. It would break her, just as it had Juliet.
His stomach twisted in a rancid knot. Knowing what he had to do, he swallowed down the bile rising in his throat and pulled her against his chest instead. He needed a few more minutes to hold her, feel her warm supple flesh on his. Feel her heart beat next to his. Feel her breath feather over his neck. He needed a few more selfish moments to savor her before he destroyed every feeling she had for him.
She rolled over as sunlight flashed brightly through the window, hitting her eyelids. Every muscle in her body ached, like she’d been in a fight. No, like she’d been run over by a truck. In a good way. It wasn’t like having the flu, thankfully. This was delicious, and a smile curled her lips. But as she stretched and arched her hips, the sore folds of her pussy rubbed against one another. She hissed in a breath—and smelled Hammer all around her.
Her eyes flew open. Hammer’s room. Hammer’s bed. The night rushed back. Hammer using her over and over. Hammer...now not lying beside her.
She turned over, struggling up to her elbows, and found him sitting on the bed beside her, in sweats and a T-shirt, staring. Regret lined his familiar, beloved face. Resignation dimmed his eyes.
“No. Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Just don’t,” she spit out between clenched teeth. “Don’t you dare tell me that you made a mistake or changed your mind or feel like you fucked your sister.”
He only sighed and shook his head, and it made her angrier. She knew that her words weren’t going to change his mind. He’d never listened to her. Why couldn’t he do it just once now?
“Raine, listen to me. Last night was a mistake, precious.”
His words hit her like a bullet to the chest. Agony ripped through her. All she did for this man was yearn and hurt. For six years of pain, she’d only gotten a few hours of ecstasy, and now he was going to rip her open again? “You didn’t seem to think that when you had your cock inside me.”
“Christ, I’m so sorry, but this isn’t going to work. Goddamnit!” He jerked to his feet and paced the room, raking a hand through his hair. He didn’t look at her.
“But…I never refused you anything. I gave you every bit of me. We were amazing together. I know you enjoyed it. You can’t fake that.”