Macen looked away. “It’s too late to save me.”
“That’s crap! Stop burying yourself with Juliet. If you don’t start thinking about your future, you’re going to wind up cynical and alone.”
“I think it’s a bit late for that.”
“Not yet. But you keep dipping your wick in every hole except the one you want, trying to drown your guilt and run from your feelings. Haven’t you figured out, mate, that you can’t? Raine cares enough to help you face your fears.”
“No.” God, no. Down that road lay disaster. Better to adore Raine from afar than to risk destroying her completely.
“So you just plan to keep fucking every skirt that swishes past, even though you’re miserable. Even when Raine loves you? Brilliant. How do you think that makes her feel?”
Lousy. Wounded. Insecure. He was a fucking heel.
“Whose friend are you?” Hammer bristled as Liam held up a mirror to the broken pieces of himself he’d long avoided.
“Always yours, which is why I’m trying to bloody help you. Is she a virgin, then? Is that your problem?”
“No, she’s not a goddamn virgin!” Hammer gritted his teeth. “She took care of that behind my back years ago.”
“Do you doubt that she’s submissive? Have you ever scened with her or let any other Dom give her a go?”
“Of course not! But fuck, certainly you can see it. You’ve watched Raine. She’s a natural. She tries so hard to please.”
“Well, then I see no reason not to give her what you both want, but if you’re set on self-destruction, you should be fair. Sit her down and tell her that you’re not interested. Let her find someone else to satisfy her.”
The visual that went with Liam’s words overloaded Hammer with fury. There wasn’t a Dom in the place who wouldn’t kill to have the beautiful girl spread across his bed, legs open, ecstasy softening her features. He’d been fending them off for years.
“She’s not ready.”
“Raine isn’t…or you’re not?” Liam raised a dark brow at him.
“You don’t know her like I do. No other Dom would understand… She’s impulsive and has volumes to learn about tempering her will. And her mouth. She has major trust issues, so the brat’s claws will come out when she feels challenged. Anyone else we know would try to ‘fix’ her attitude with a red ass, and they’d fail utterly. I have to protect her. Yes, she’s upset now, but she’s strong willed. Trust me, that Raine will be back.” Hammer shook his head, willing Liam to understand. “She hides behind bluster and sarcasm, but under it she’s so fucking fragile. I worry someone else would break her.”
“And you don’t think you are? I mean no disrespect, mate, but if any other Dom was putting her through this emotional torture, you’d have kicked his ass by now.”
Hammer would rather Liam had punched him in the jaw than flayed him with that truth.
“Who are you, Dr. Fucking Phil?” Hammer curled his hands into fists. “She’s not wired for what I’d want. So drop it.”
“I think you’re bloody full of shit. You’re protecting yourself because you’re afraid that if you take even a taste of her, you’ll get addicted and lose your heart. You’re terrified she’ll have the power to hurt you.”
He hated that Liam knew him so well, but he wasn’t about to admit that his friend was right. Instead, he clenched his jaw and glared. “I said that’s enough.”
“Listen, I’ve not gone back to New York because I won’t leave when you’re coming apart at the seams. Luckily, I can run my business from almost anywhere. I’ll be here as long as you need me and I’ll always listen.” Liam’s voice softened, his eyes holding more compassion than Hammer could stand.
He was the only Dom—the only friend—Hammer trusted, not only with his club and livelihood, but with his legacy. Liam didn’t know it, but Hammer had named him the beneficiary of Shadows in the event of his death. There wasn’t another person who understood the hell he’d been through or could advise him better.
Still, he couldn’t fail to learn from Juliet. That would only dishonor her more.
“Thank you.” He forced out a wry smile. “I can always use a friend.” Then his smile fell. “But where Raine is involved, fuck off.”
As nausea turned his stomach, he pivoted away, walked back into his private office, and slammed the door.
Fuck off, was it? Liam watched Hammer shut himself away and shook his head. Through the past decade, he and Hammer had shared so many good times, so much laughter, untold quantities of liquor, and of course for a time, Juliet. The man was the closest thing he had to a brother. Sure, they’d exchanged a cross word or two, but never anything like this. Clearly, his friend didn’t appreciate his interference. But he needed it.