A smile broke out across her face. She’d only wondered a hundred times a day if or when he might bring this up. To know that he hadn’t forgotten, that he still wanted her to be his, warmed her through and through. “I think I’m thrilled.”
“Grand. Glad to hear it.” He swallowed, looking surprisingly nervous. She’d already said yes, so…what was the issue?
“It’s more than that, Raine. I want a collaring ceremony with you, and not just for training. I want to formally collar you.”
Raine opened her mouth, gaping. She’d expected a lot of things—everything from him wanting her to have her nipples pierced to trying a new flogger out on her. In both cases, she’d prepared arguments. But she hadn’t been prepared for this. He wanted to skip training her under his hand to see if they would be compatible and simply make her his? It was the BDSM equivalent of a wedding ring.
“Really?” she breathed.
She couldn’t deny being a little sad that Hammer had gone to make his annual pilgrimage to New York—finally, she knew why—and wouldn’t be here to witness the event. It worried her that by accepting, she might be hurting him. But he’d pushed her away, made it clear that he couldn’t or wouldn’t be with her. Why should she throw away a chance at happiness to keep pining over a man who refused to love her? Liam made her feel beautiful and cherished. She fell a bit more for him every day. With him, she could learn and grow and...wasn’t that what Hammer ultimately wanted for her?
A smile spread across her face as tears pricked her eyes and tingled at the back of her nose.
“Really.” Liam smiled indulgently.
Amazement coursed through her again. He wanted her, really, truly. Wanted her. She didn’t know why fate or the universe thought she deserved him; she was just glad he’d chosen her.
“Yes!” She threw herself into his arms. As Liam caught her and dragged her against him with a hearty laugh, she hugged him. “I’ll do everything I can to make you proud. I know I need practice and work, but I’ll make you happy, Sir.”
He palmed her cheek. “I’m counting on it, lass.”
On the flight back home, Hammer sipped his drink, swirling the ice in the plastic cup as he stared out the window, thanking god he’d taken an earlier flight home. He was desperate to get back to Raine.
Leaning back against the seat with a sigh, he closed his eyes. Making the yearly jaunt to New York to pay his respects to Juliet’s grave was always depressing. The only saving grace over the years had been Liam. His best friend had never failed to accompany him to the cemetery and reminisce about the good times they’d once shared. Liam’s support and jovial stories had often kept him from shedding tears while visiting his wife’s final resting place.
This year, everything had been different. Different, hell. It was a clusterfuck of biblical proportions. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d shed tears while staring at Juliet’s tombstone. Though he’d tried to determine why, after all these years, he’d come apart so brutally, Hammer still didn’t know. As he’d knelt, he’d stared at the barren soil. And he’d spilled a torrent of bitter tears.
Now, he took another sip of bourbon as his mind swarmed like a nest of angry bees. He mulled over the situation back home.
Had the fact that Raine had been swept out from under him played a part in his breakdown at Juliet’s grave? Of course. It had to, at least in part. The sultry siren always had him grasping for the threads of his control. But the loss of his friend weighed heavy on him, as well. The feeling of hopelessness was damn foreign to him. He didn’t fucking like it.
Liam had played him, manipulated him to steal Raine. It pissed him off. But after watching Liam verbally assault Marlie, Hammer had no doubt they were both hopelessly in love with the sweet girl. And he was amazed at how quickly Liam had brought out the stunning submissive inside her. The idea that Liam might be good for Raine burned his throat like a blistering fireball, all but making him choke.
After landing at LAX, he hailed a taxi and climbed in. His stomach swirled, wondering if Liam had kept his promise. He wasn’t prepared to face Shadows without Raine again. It would be a daunting task to live without her. He’d already had a taste of that, and he’d rather fly back to New York and relive the hell of his past than cope without her again.
Sighing heavily, he resigned himself to the fact if she were still at Shadows, he would somehow have to carry on, as he had for the past six years. But this time, he’d have to watch Liam with her, touching her, possessing her. It made him violent.