Now I was left with nothing, awkward, alone.
It wasn’t the time to feel sorry for myself. I went over to the bar and grabbed a bottle of Vodka, and thrust it into Junior’s hand. “Two shots, one lime, on ice.”
“Demanding.” He winked, his aqua eyes locked on mine with sincerity. “You doing better?”
“Ask me about my feelings again, and I’m going to grab your balls and twist,” I spat.
Serena burst out laughing then slow clapped. “There she is. I missed you, bitch!”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve always been here.”
She made a face. “You know the opposite of pussy whipped?”
“Huh?”
She pointed at me. “You, that was you, and now look at you wearing that sexy as hell black dress with fuck me heels and drinking vodka straight, that’s how Abandonatos rollllllll.”
Junior handed me my drink; his eyes always did people in; they were nearly impossible not to focus on. It was almost irritating how attractive he was; it just reminded me of Maksim and his smug looks and gorgeous eyes, ugh. “Thanks.”
“Cheers.” He’d made one for himself and tossed part of it back; the ice made a clanking noise against the glass. “You see King?”
Serena glanced at the hall. “He just got here, Maksim hot in tow as per usual.”
I scowled.
“Claws out.” Serena winked. “First blood wins.”
“Oh good,” Junior muttered. “This game again.”
“Still won,” she said quickly.
“Still cheated.” He snapped, flicking her on the arm.
She gave him a playful shove that quickly turned into his tongue attacking hers, meaning I had to look away if I was going to keep what little food I had in my stomach on the inside where it belonged.
King waved at us, but he looked different, older maybe?
And Maksim… well, Maksim looked drunk as hell.
Of course, because why today of all days would he be sober? When I needed him to hear me, to understand me, to know that I couldn’t do this anymore?
Irritated, I grabbed the vodka bottle and drank straight from it, cringing as it went down my throat.
He probably smelled like Vokda—his alcohol of choice unless he was trying to piss Serena off again and smell like Gin.
I refused to look at Maksim when he sat and started talking to Ash. King went to grab some appetizers or something to help semi-sober everyone up. Minutes later, he came back frowning.
“What’s with the look?” Ash gave him a shove.
King shook his head. “The parents are all having some sort of emergency meeting with Nikolai, no clue what the fuck is going on, the food’s all on the table if we’re hungry, but they all looked… weird.”
“Define weird.” Junior took a swig of his drink. “They’re always weird, not sure you noticed, but modern-day mafia soooooo…”
“Right.” King’s frown deepened. “Well, maybe we should eat real quick then?”
“Sure.” Ash was already moving toward the kitchen.
I followed after everyone, barely remembering the conversation as we all sat at the table and tried to figure out what the parents were all meeting about. I mean, what could be so important?
Was it the fire?
And did it have anything to do with me?
All my food settled like a rock in my stomach. And the entire time I sat there, Maksim didn’t look at me once.
However, I noticed that his hand shook when he tried to eat; it was like a tremor took over his body. He hid it well, and maybe I was being paranoid but, it was strange.
When I kept staring, King caught my eye and actually scooted his chair toward Maksim blocking my view.
I didn’t need anything more to read into, so I grabbed another drink and went to the theater room to be by myself.
I needed the solitude.
“This sucks,” I said to myself as I sat in the large red recliner and grabbed the Apple TV remote.
I put on Lucifer, since I was a few episodes behind, and settled in, drink in my right hand and enough in the bottle next to me to hold me over for a few more.
The lights were low.
And my memories were fresh.
Of being with Maksim in this very theater room.
Making out.
Just like we made out at the church.
Just like we made out in his bed.
In mine.
Under the tree.
I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned.
The door opened to the theater room. I groaned out, “Leave.”
“Can’t,” Maksim’s voice said. “I’ve tried everything, and nothing seems to work.”
I couldn’t look at him.
I couldn’t even speak.
I hated him for making me hate my own weakness.
It wasn’t fair to love someone so much knowing they don’t love you that way back, knowing that if you died tomorrow, they’d shed a few tears and move on.
“Please,” I begged as a tear slid down my cheek. “Please, Maks. I can’t anymore. I can’t do this.”
“You think I want to?” he said, his voice directly behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck, the heat from his body. I refused to turn around. “You think I like ignoring my soul mate over and over again.”