“Including which detergent my mom uses?”
Cal smiled at me and pulled my seat belt out and buckled me in like my dad used to do for me when I was a kid.
“Safety first! Precious cargo should always be protected. My piece of shit dad taught me a couple of useful lessons.”
I was confused about Calvin’s relationship with his father. It was clear that it was troubled and Calvin had a lot of built-up anger toward the man. I wondered what he’d done to make his son lose respect for him, or if Calvin was wrong and he just misunderstood his dad’s actions.
But the intensity was there, and his feelings were palpable and it made me wonder if it was safe to get involved with a man who held hate in his heart—even if it was mixed in with a lot of other great stuff.
Calvin peeled out of our driveway fast enough to make the wheels of the van squeal. My dad would be livid and my mom would apologize for both me and Calvin.
No matter what, I still wanted the date. Because time spent with Calvin was the only way to get my mind off of my brother and my family’s fate.
Calvin Montgomery was probably trouble and I was walking right into his web.
Chapter 13
CALVIN
The whole drive to the restaurant I felt like I was holding my breath. I knew I was probably coming on too strong but something about her was making me crazy.
I really wanted to put the back seat down and just hold her, forgoing dinner altogether. I imagined feeling her body against mine, kissing every single inch of that flesh until we were both drunk off it.
That wasn’t going to happen. I knew I had to earn her trust first. I certainly wasn’t proficient in dating, and all I had to go on were the shitty examples my dad and brother set for me, or the shitty way most guys treated girls at school.
I wanted to show Ellison that she was special, I knew we should take it slow and spend time getting to know one another. I gave her the nickel tour of South Vale, drove past the theatre, the park, all the little hokey landmarks downtown. She wanted to see the library and the train station, so I made a special detour for those.
“Do you want to see the high school?” I was hoping she’d say no. Last thing I wanted to do was run into somebody. Secretly, I was hoping that Ellison would be so attached to me by the time we started school, she wouldn’t need anyone else. I could tell all the other guys to buzz off because she was taken. Mine.
My interest was genuine too. I wanted to know every single part of her, what she loved, what scared her, I wanted to know her hopes and what she aspired to. I wanted to be the one she ran to when she was scared and needed advice. It was overwhelming to experience such need and possession, feelings of permanency after just having met her. I told myself to slow down, but my heart had already written out our story. Ellison was it for me, she would be my first and my only.
The intense feelings scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know how much of it was the impact she had on me or if the bad examples, my fucked up conditioning was taking over. Did I want to grow up with this stunning girl or did I already want to own her, control her, crush her like my father did to my mother? I had to slow down and rein in the runaway train that was ready to smash through the station. It was unlikely she felt the same way, and if she heard my thoughts aloud, I’m sure she’d take off running.
“You all right?” Her soft voice interrupted my dark thoughts. “If you’re hungry we can go eat. I can see the rest of South Vale later.” Her eyes were fixed on the steering wheel. I looked at where she was staring and my hands were white-knuckling the wheel. I immediately loosened my grip and looked at her and smiled.
Calm the fuck down, freak, before you scare her away forever.
“I’m more than alright. Just overthinking. Hope you like Italian?”
I took the next exit and drove us the five miles to the restaurant, my favorite in town.
“Don’t move.” I got out of the van, ran over toward her side and opened the door. I was fucking up already and we hadn’t yet gotten out of the car.
“Such a gentleman,” she said. She took my hand as I helped her step down. We held hands across the parking lot and my heart pumped in my chest, my nerves winning the war.