The houses that were in this part of town were small two-story, bungalow-style homes, but they weren’t homes at all. They were four walls and a roof, privacy for people to inject and snort, rape, and murder.
There were a few businesses within walking distance of me. A deli that sold questionable meat and delivered an even worse atmosphere. There was a laundromat just down the block, and a check-cashing place on the other end of the street. A pizza joint was close as well, and a small convenience store across from that. So although the neighborhood was run-down and barely thriving, it gave me enough of the amenities I needed in order to survive.
I let my gaze travel over what might have once been a lush expanse of grass for children to play on but had long since died and was now nothing more than yellow and crispy patches trying to hang on to that last hope of staying alive.
There was one tree, but it was even sadder than the decrepit neighborhood, with barely any leaves hanging onto the skeletal branches, its thirst evident in the gnarled trunk. It was as dead as everything else in Desolation.
The shadows were dark and thick at the back of the building, and the few streetlights that lined the road had long since given up. And of course the city couldn’t care less about fixing them, so they continued to let the depression cave in around people.
I felt this tingling on the back of my neck, something I was very familiar with, a feeling that told me I was being watched. I should’ve moved away from the window, allowed this dirty sheet to give me a semblance of privacy I desperately wanted in life, but I found myself rooted to the spot. I looked, searching for who was out there. But there was nothing to see but the sadness, ugliness, and the forever darkness.
One day I’d be able to feel safe. One day I’d be able to make a home and be happy.
But that day wasn’t today.
6
Galina
I’d been at work for the last two hours, and there was an unusual rush this time of night that kept me busy, which I was thankful for. It helped keep my mind off the night before and what had happened.
I felt someone come up behind me before the scent of Laura’s too strong, flowery perfume filtered in my nose.
“Hey,” she said, and there was something off about the tone of her voice.
I turned around from restocking the Styrofoam cups to look at her. “Everything okay?” The expression on her face answered my question. She had her brows pulled down low and slowly shook her head as if clearing her thoughts.
When she looked up at me, I could see dark circles under her eyes before her gaze took in my throat. Her eyes widened, and she moved a step closer. “Oh my God. What happened?”
Instinctively I touched my neck where I knew the marks were. I’d bought some cheap concealer, but the shade wasn’t a match and made the bruising look even worse. I shook my head and said, “It’s nothing. Just someone too touchy-feely. I doused him with my pepper spray and kicked him in the balls to teach him a lesson.” I gave her a smile that I felt wavering and didn’t reach my eyes. She looked like she wanted to argue, but I shook my head. “I’m fine. Promise. Now tell me what’s going on with you.”
After a moment, when it was clear I wouldn't budge on this, she exhaled and tied her apron around her waist before leaning back and resting her hands behind her on the chipped counter.
“Well, if you don’t count the fact that I’m barely scraping by moneywise, or that my dreams of getting a college education are slowly slipping through my fingers, then yeah, I’m doing great, all things considering.” She laughed humorlessly, and although I knew I should comfort her, it was never something I’d had experience with.
I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at me, her light-brown eyes showing me how tired she really was. I wished I could’ve told her things would be okay, but the truth was nothing was ever okay in the world we lived in.
I wished I could have helped her with the money aspect, but I was barely making enough to support myself and save up to leave. I was struggling just as badly as she was, and that wasn't even counting the shitstorm of my past that would catch up with me eventually.
Laura didn’t even know who I really was.
What I didn’t spend on food and necessities, I squirreled away. Desolation certainly wasn’t my endgame. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life here. I wanted to be able to go somewhere that was full of life. Because maybe then I would actually feel like I had one.