“…want you to make me come so hard that I explode and hit the roof like that time you tried to cook chili in the pressure cooker.”
“I love when you talk dirty like that…”
What the actual effing eff?
Elodie quickly rips her hand out of my pants, and I realize we’re both standing here without shirts on. Her shirt. Her bra. Where are they? I look around frantically for a place to hide. “Table!” I gasp.
She moves fast, scooping her bra off the floor by my feet—oh, that’s where it went. Then, she snatches her shirt off the table—how did I not see it there—and hurtles herself behind the whole thing, which gives about zero protection from being seen. I snatch my shirt from the floor and position myself in front of the table and table legs, trying to obscure the view of Elodie while she’s getting dressed. I ram my shirt on and realize it’s backward and inside out, but what the fuck ever. It’s a plain colored T-shirt, so no one will notice. Who the hell is in my house anyway?
I lift my head, and then I see them. Toren and Luna. Locked together at the mouth and lips. He has his hands up under her shirt, and she’s writhing against him.
I clear my throat loudly, and they break apart like a…a…like a pot of chili. Dear god, I don’t think I’ll ever think of chili the same way again.
Both Toren and Luna freeze. She’s wearing a black pencil skirt and a white blouse while he’s in a suit. It looks like they just came from work to my house. To do what exactly? Well, I know exactly what they were going to do. Shudders. As if my granny and her horrid love life wasn’t enough, now I have to deal with my brother and Luna’s too?
“Taylen,” Toren finally says in a very strained, high-pitched voice. It sounds like someone just belted him in the nuts. “You weren’t supposed to be back for another five days.”
“What on earth are you doing in my house?” I cross my arms. Luna slowly studies my T-shirt. Damn it. She’s totally noticing that it’s on inside out and backward.
“Um, well…”
I can see Toren searching for some plausible explanation, knowing full well what I heard and saw. He comes up with nothing. He has to admit the truth.
“We were, uh, Milo’s nanny watches him during the day. Work’s been busy for both of us lately, and we thought we’d take a bit of a late, extended lunch break and go somewhere slightly private?”
“My house?” I try not to be appalled, but…I’m kind of appalled. “You were going to use my house for hanky panky?”
“Do people still call it that?” Luna whispers to Toren. Then, they both look at me after. They’re both scarlet, while I’m still appalled.
“We would have, um, cleaned up after,” Toren states.
I’m utterly horrified now, not just appalled, and I can feel my yap gaping.
“Where’s Elodie?” Toren asks, catching me off guard. I mean, even more off guard than I already am. Yet again.
“What do you mean where is she?” I stammer. “Why do you think she’d be with me?”
Toren rolls his eyes. “You took a week off and disappeared without telling anyone where you were going, just that you were going. And this was right after you sent the group chat a photo of you stealing Elodie’s wedding cake. Then we all found out she ditched the wedding and—”
“So Granny told you,” I state dryly.
“You were her getaway,” Luna says, beaming at the overall romance of it. She puts her hand to her chest and grins at me like she knows something I don’t. Or maybe something I’m just starting to figure out.
Holy farge, if they knew about the curse—if any of them knew about the curse and didn’t tell me, I’m going to literally, maybe, shit bricks. Although, that might hurt. Like, a lot. I don’t think my butthole would recover from an instance such as that, so maybe I shouldn’t say literally. It’s like a curse, and I’ve had just about enough curses for now.
Scenting blood, Toren switches from looking guilty to having a shit-eating grin. “She’s here, isn’t she?”
Some days, I really detest my twin brother. Like the days he sneaks into my house because he has the code for the front door to get it on with his…ugh. Not going there. So not going there.
I catch a flash of black out of the corner of my eye as Elodie pops up from behind me, fully dressed. Thank goodness.
“I’m here,” she says rather too cheerfully. I wonder if I look as guilty as she sounds. “I was just not sure who was coming in. And who was with you. I’m trying to be cautious. I don’t want my parents to know I’m back in NOLA after, well, the wedding, or maybe I should say more of a non-wedding. I left them a note saying I’d be back in a week, and I want to take the full week to think things over. I think they need it too.”