I walk in, and she follows behind me. I watch her do some sort of surveillance walk around the house, checking all the windows and doors. She looks over her shoulder at me, seeming to make sure I am there with her.
My stomach twists from knowing how terrified she is and that I am allowing her to think of me as some sort of hero. I’m no one’s hero.
She turns around and looks me in the eye then back down. Her bottom lip is between her teeth, and fuck if I don’t want it between mine. But I can’t.
Missy was crazy, and her fucking issues and mine didn’t mix. This girl is beautiful and fucked up at the same time, and I would just ruin her further. I would destroy the ounce of sanity she still holds, which is dangling from a very thin, invisible string. A string that would be sure to snap if I let anything more happen to her.
I want to fuck her again. I want her eyes on me, watching me, only me.
“I’ll be back later to get your alarm reset. Until then, get some rest.”
The challenge I saw in her eyes earlier is gone. She simply nods her head and lets me leave.
“She’s got you fucking twisted,” Brock says from the other side of the pad he is holding to protect him as I beat the hell out of it.
“I’ve got me twisted.” I kick, and even with the padding, he stumbles back two steps. “I’m everything I never wanted to be, but fuck if it’s gonna change.”
My entire body hurts. I shouldn’t be here, not after the head injury I sustained, but I have to fight. I have to feed the need inside of me to fuck shit up. I have to release the aggression that builds day in and day out. It’s fucked up. The Ping-Pong ball in my mind knows it’s all wrong. Everything about me is wrong, but I can’t control it.
I also can’t get those angel blue eyes out of my mind.
I can help you fight back.
If she only knew what really lies inside me, she wouldn’t help me fight it back. She would fight to be free from me. It would be the smartest thing she could ever do for herself.
She needs to get as far away from me as possible. I damn sure am not strong enough to walk away from her.
Funny, I can beat the shit out of men twice my size, but I can’t resist the blond haired, blue-eyed pussycat on Hollow Terrace.
I told her I would fix her alarm, and I will. She is also going to get the fuck out of that house. It can’t be healthy to stay there. Then again, it won’t be healthy to stay with me, either.
I have to fight inside to keep myself away from her. She’s a mess and I’m trouble with a capital T. She has no idea the monster she had in her bed.
Chapter Eleven
Lo
I watch him walk away. His muscles flex in his clothes. He is strong, so strong, and I can’t help wanting to absorb that energy. I need it for what we—I mean, I have planned. I know I’m a mess, but in order to clean up a mess, sometimes you have to become one.
He gets in the car and sits in his seat, running his hands through his blond hair. He looks up at me and nods, then twists his finger as if to say turn around before he points to the door. He mouths Go, and it’s as if I can hear his rough, deep voice saying the words to me.
His voice, even imagined in my head, wraps around me like a shield of strength and protection. There is no hesitation or thought. I look around the house that built me then crushed me, that terrorizes and consumes me with the borrowed strength of a man who calls himself a monster. I know I can finish what we—I mean, I have started.
I lock all three dead bolts and the doorknob and then lean against the wall and slide down it, coming to a rest on the floor.
He is gone, and I am here . . . alone. I take comfort in the sun being up and in Jason, the man with a pain of his own, the man whose stature and stare could leave anyone trembling, the man I allowed to keep me safe from her—myself—last night.
Boots and Socks are sunning themselves in the window while I sit here, watching them in their relaxed state, envious of them. My eyes grow heavy, and I allow them to rest, but just for a moment. I know the house is locked and secure, because he made it so.
I jump when I hear a loud knock on the door. I rub the back of my neck as I stretch. It aches from the way I was positioned. I must have fallen asleep.