“What will you say?”
“If I say his father did it, then Noah’s the son of a murderer. If I say Dallas didn’t do it, his father is rotting in prison for another man’s crime, and injustice is hard to live with. Believe me: I know. So, you tell me, Obi-Wan, what’s the right answer?”
Winona seemed to think about that. “When I was a kid, Mom used to tell me that I was big-boned and beautiful. I knew it wasn’t true: I had a mirror. But I also knew she believed it, and that was what mattered. I knew she loved me.” She turned to Vivi Ann. “Let him know he’s a good person in spite of what people may think. Tell him it doesn’t matter who his dad was. What matters is who he is.”
Vivi Ann leaned against her big sister. It was times like these that made her glad she’d chosen all those years ago to forgive Winona. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. What should I do if he asks me stuff?”
“Answer him, I guess. Maybe it’ll help.”
Winona stared down at her beer.
“Okay,” Vivi Ann said when they’d been quiet awhile. “Spill the beans.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re never quiet that long. What are you trying to figure out?”
“The guy we went skiing with today is Mark Michaelian. Myrtle’s son. He graduated about five years before me.”
“Oh.” Vivi Ann took a long drink of her beer.
“He asked me out on a date. Do you care if I go?”
Vivi Ann leaned back and pushed off; the porch swing glided back gently.
The familiar sounds of the ranch were all around—the distant purr of the waves and the clomping of horses in the field and the creaking of the metal chains behind them.
“If you want me to cancel the date, I will,” Winona said.
Vivi Ann knew it was the truth. One of the things about their past was this: the baggage might be stored in the dark, but it was still in the house. They were all very careful not to haul it out. The same mistakes couldn’t be made again. “You haven’t dated anyone seriously in, what, two years? Not since that marine biologist was here for the summer.”
“Thanks for pointing that out.”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant . . . sure. Go out with Mark. You have my blessing.”
“Really?”
Vivi Ann nodded. “Really.”
It felt good, that decision, made her feel as if she’d finally let go.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. It’s all in the past.”
Today was such a totally tight day that I don’t even need one of Mrs. I.’s dorky questions. I feel like if I don’t get all this down on paper I’ll forget it and I DON’T EVER WANT to forget.
It started out sucky. I totally didn’t see how anything was ever gonna change. I showed up at Aunt Winona’s house and she acted as stuck up as ever, all up in my grill, giving me that I just ate a bad piece of fish look. I pulled my pants down as far as I could just to piss her off and it musta worked cause at about lunchtime she came running down to the dock with this long piece of duct tape that I was supposed to use as a belt. I would have told her to take a flying leap but she started talking about the fair and the riding outfit my mom made me wear last year and I chickened out. I pictured Erik Jr. and Brian and all the rest of those assholes seeing me showing horses with a bunch of little girls and I figured the duct tape was better. I felt like a total loser after that but so what? I’m sorta used to that and no one was there to see anyway. I slowed down my bird shit scraping, tho, just to piss her off, which I know it does. Sometimes I see her standing up there on her crappy deck watching me work and I can practically hear her grinding her teeth. She wants to fire me but she can’t and that??s cool.
Anyway, I was just smoking along, doing practically nothing when I looked up at the house and saw some strangers in the yard, talking to my aunt. That was weird, so I put down my scrapey-thing and went up, even tho my aunt hates it when I stop working.
When I got close I could see that it was an old guy with the kind of hair you should just shave off and quit trying to save. He was dressed like a bartender, but he isn’t the one I stared at.
She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life. The most amazing part was that she didn’t look at me like I was just that indian. When her dad took us out waterskiing she wanted to sit by me and everything. She told me that she and her dad had been traveling around the world for a year and now they’d come back to Oyster Shores and she was bummed cause all her friends were in Minnesota. Then she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her tomorrow. I know she won’t stay friends with me when she hears all the shit in town and finds out that no one likes me. I don’t even care.
When we got home Mom was so cool with everything that she even left me home alone while she went to the Outlaw with Aunt Winona. She NEVER does that. I think she’s afraid I’ll smoke crack or burn the house down but tonight she said I was growing up and making good choices and I’d earned this chance.