Chapter Thirteen
To hide the fact that her hands were shaking, Veronica gripped them together as they walked up the porch steps, back to her quiet retreat. She prayed like crazy that Jack, Ethan, Adam, and all the men of the Divine Creek Ranch weren’t secretly pissed as hell at her and just not showing it. She was nearly frantic to get Grace alone and apologize for the way she’d had to stay secluded in her upstairs suite all day. In fact, the more she thought about it, the twitchier she felt. She really needed to be alone to decompress.
On either side of her, Hank and Travis walked up the steps and Hank opened the front door for her. He switched on lamps as he moved through the house and she realized he was actually making sure her house was secure when he reached through a drape to check a window lock.
She was about to slip her boots from her aching feet when Travis stopped her and both men stood before her. Hank scratched his chin for a second, eyeing her before he finally said, “You’ll need to pack an overnight bag, Nika.”
Frowning, she said, “What? I have work to do. I lost a whole day.”
Travis shook his head and she saw the stubborn set to his jaw. “You’re exhausted, Nika. You need rest.”
The already tense knot in her stomach ratcheted a bit tighter as she fought her irritation. “No. I need to work. After a day like today, resting is the last thing I’ll be able to do.” She jumped, her nerves on edge, when they both reached for her.
Travis looked a little surprised but she put her hand on his bicep to interrupt him.
“My nerves are shot, guys, from all the adrenaline. I’ve been there and done this before. The only solution I have is to work it off. I feel energized—and horrible—and if I try to rest, I’ll—I’ll…It just won’t work.” She stammered as her heart began to pound and the icy warning chills swept up her arms and across her chest. “Why? Why did this happen? Why is this horrible person doing this? I don’t hurt anyone. I try to be nice. I don’t understand why.”
Hank wrapped his arms around her as the adrenaline overload made her shake harder. “Do you know why you don’t understand why someone would do this?”
He held her tighter as she rattled around inside her skin and her mind got all fuddled up in his question. “Huh? Yes. Why? Why don’t I understand?” Her voice sounded odd in her ears and she realized the panting she heard was her.
“Because you’re not a horrible person. That’s why you can’t understand. You’re not like them. You’re better. And it drives them crazy. You rise above what they do and it drives them crazy. They want you to sink to their level and you won’t do it.”
Waves of cold and heat started rushing through her and her lips went a little numb. Hank reached for her desk chair and helped her sit.
“Nika, honey…” He removed her eyeglasses, gently encircled the back of her neck, and leaned her upper body forward as the sparklies started in the outer periphery of her vision. Both men were crouched close and she buried her head in her arms and closed her eyes to try to overcome the claustrophobic feeling. They’re going to think I’m crazy! Out of control!
A warm hand stroked her back as Hank whispered, “Slow breath in, Nika.” She tried to comply, not very successfully, and the shakes got worse. “Slow breath out.” She could hear their voices but couldn’t understand what they were saying over the roar in her ears. She took a deep breath in on his next command and let it out at his direction.
Instead of getting worse until she needed to lie on the floor in case she passed out, the shakes stayed steady and then tapered off as she obeyed his instructions over and over. Panic attacks were horrible but knowing the two of them were right there to lean on made her rebound a little faster. She didn’t have to deal with it on her own that time.
At a gentle stroke on her chin, she lifted her head and a glass of orange juice was held out in front of her. “Drink, Nika.” Embarrassment filled her when she couldn’t even hold the glass straight because her hands shook so bad and Travis had to hold it for her as she took a drink.
Hank kissed the side of her head. “Subs trust in their Doms to see to whatever need they have, whether it’s small or large. You were strong all day, Nika, and we’re so proud of you.”