“But he isn’t invincible. He’s got his weaknesses and he’s going to make mistakes. The good guys will bring him down, Liv, you’ve got to believe that.”
“I need to leave,” she whispered. Her chin trembled and she pressed her lips together in a tight line. He watched her bring herself back under control. She was stronger than she realized.
“No. You need to stay. He’s going down and I won’t allow you to get tangled in his fall. If that guy really is working for Ethan then he’s keeping an eye on my place. I don’t want you going anywhere. He’ll follow you and I won’t be able to protect you if you disappear. So your best bet is to stay, okay?” He tipped her chin up so her gaze met his. He had to get through to her. He knew her first instinct was to run again but his gut told him that was the wrong move.
Olivia took a deep breath as her emotions warred within her. Finally she nodded. “All right, Paul. I trust you.”
His heart swelled with satisfaction. He could keep her safe with her compliance. Keeping her in his sights was the first step in bringing down Moore. “You’ll stay? You’ll do whatever I tell you to keep you safe? No more talk or thoughts about running off alone?”
Olivia nodded again and he could see both fear and determination sparkling in her green eyes. “I want this over.”
NINE
Olivia was going crazy. She hadn’t left Paul’s condo for a full week. She couldn’t go near the windows or get a breath of fresh air. It felt like Ethan had created a new prison for her. She kept waiting for the next bad thing to happen, but all was quiet. No one came to Paul’s door again and no one tried to break in and snatch her. It seemed unnaturally still and that worried her even more. It’s was terrible living in this type of suspense. She felt edgy and irritable and unfortunately Paul took the brunt of her temper. Thankfully he understood her coiled emotions. He said he experienced the same feelings when working undercover and waiting for a case to break open. When she asked him to elaborate he wouldn’t. She knew there was a mystery there, a young girl who had died. Olivia wondered if Paul’s determination to protect her had something to do with that girl.
To burn off steam she danced for a few hours each day. Paul’s condo also had wood floors in the family room. He helped her push back the furniture so she had enough room. Sometimes he stayed and watched her. It was exhilarating dancing for him. Normally she could shut out her audience but she was always aware of him, like there was an invisible connection that couldn’t be severed. As she danced, she could feel her hip getting stronger with the continued movement. She pushed herself harder and had greater range of motion. Yet she knew she would never
be able to step back into her ballet career. A few weeks ago the realization would have grieved her but now she accepted the fact easily. The new attitude had everything to do with Paul. She didn’t want to go back to her rigorous lifestyle where there was no room for a normal relationship. Before Ethan and the accident, her life had consisted of practices and performances and nothing else. Now she wanted a normal life. Dance would always be a part of her world but maybe she could do something different, like teaching. She always enjoyed working with the younger students and she loved kids. Her secret longing was to teach her own children to dance.
In addition to dance drills, Paul filled her time with learning self-defense moves. He said it was important to be able to protect herself and would give her confidence. She hoped she would never have to use the moves but she had a feeling they would come in handy soon. If only she’d known a few techniques when Ethan’s early attention became violent. Maybe she could have stopped him. In the beginning she had fought back, but her ineffective struggles only stirred him more. She learned that being a ragdoll ended his tantrums faster than her fists. Maybe now, with a few precisely aimed strikes she would be able to deter his attacks altogether. It was wishful thinking on her part, she knew, but Paul was right. Knowing how to defend herself to some degree did boost her confidence. She would never be any easy target for Ethan’s “lessons” again.
Olivia slowed her steps and moved into her cooldown routine as she finished her daily practice session. After the last step, and a curtsey that was deeper and more graceful than she thought she would ever do again, she slipped off her worn ballet slippers and switched off the music. She was about to head upstairs when she heard Paul in his office. He was on the phone. She would have turned and given him his privacy until she heard her name. Curious and instinctively wary, she went to investigate.
Paul motioned her in when he spotted her in the doorway but he didn’t interrupt his call. “Yeah, I’ve got her here and she’s safe. No, I already told you everything I know. I gave you the number off the card. Yeah, no kidding he wasn’t with the Census Bureau. Huh, I’m not surprised it went to Ethan Moore’s private line, but now he knows I gave the number over to you. You better step it up. No, I’m not bringing her in.”
As Paul’s conversation continued Olivia tried to put the pieces together. She didn’t like anyone knowing where she was – not even the FBI agent he trusted. He’d given the salesman’s number to his friend in the FBI rather than making the call himself. She was thankful since Ethan was at the other end. Which meant Ethan had known she was here for the past week and so far had done nothing. She could imagine his rage from knowing she was living with another man. It wouldn’t matter that Paul hadn’t touched her. Ethan would never believe the truth since he was so irrational and suspicious. He always believed the worst of her, even accusing her of having an affair with his bodyguard, Dirken! Since he knew or at least strongly suspected she was here why hadn’t he made a move? She clenched her fists and fought to catch her breath. Just thinking about him made her panic and now he was closing in again. What was he planning? Paul was right that her first instinct was to run but she’d promised him she wouldn’t. It was difficult to force herself to remain in the office while he talked to some unknown government official who might be the one tipping off Ethan. She hugged herself as she fought to remain calm. Ethan was probably recording the call and knew everything Paul was doing to help her. He was probably laughing at their naïve efforts, believing they were safe when he was always one step ahead of them. He was going to punish her for turning to Paul, after he destroyed every good thing in Paul’s life.
Paul slammed the phone down on the desk, making Olivia jump. He swiped his hand through his hair in irritation as he paced from one end of the office to the other. “My FBI contact working your case is being reassigned. Out of nowhere he got the orders this morning. He said the investigation of Ethan Moore will continue but for some reason his replacement isn’t as motivated to get answers. I’m sure we know why.”
“Ethan got to him.”
Paul nodded and kicked his leather chair in irritation. “Dammit!”
Olivia flinched and instinctively cowered when Paul suddenly turned in her direction. Her shoulders rose high and she lowered her chin protectively. Paul stopped in front of her and she winced.
“Olivia honey, you know I’m not angry with you, right?” She nodded but didn’t look up. She knew her fear was unnatural and she wasn’t really scared of Paul but the reaction was ingrained and she couldn’t help it.
“Honey, look at me.” He gently tipped up her chin so she was forced to meet his gaze. What she saw was a troubled look of remorse. “I would never, never strike you. Do you understand? I’m frustrated by the case and I feel powerless at the moment but this has nothing to do with being angry or frustrated with you. You can trust me, Liv.”
She gave him a rueful smile. She felt embarrassed. “I know, Paul, but I couldn’t help my reaction. When you yelled and kicked the chair, it made me flinch. I felt nervous. Ethan did this to me. He turned me into a coward and I’m scared of every little sound.”
“No, you’re not a coward. You’re the bravest person I know,” Paul stated firmly. His blue eyes darkened with concern for her. “It's going to feel this way for a while and you need time to heal and process everything you've been through. As soon as it’s over, we’ll get you into therapy. There are professionals who will help you let go of the past. We’ll banish these nightmares for good. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
It sounded like a dream and she wanted to feel as positive as Paul but doubt lingered in her mind. Ethan had taken over every area of her life. Even now she could hear his words, you belong to me, Olivia. We are one soul together and nothing will ever separate us. I will kill you before I allow another man to touch you. Your body and your life are mine. Never forget, you were created for me.
“I can’t get him out of my head, Paul. His words are always whispering in my mind. He said a million horrible things and all those promises keep replaying in my thoughts.” Tears filled her eyes. She hated crying but she felt so hopeless. “I don’t think I’ll ever be free of him. When it’s quiet I hear his voice. And when I close my eyes I see him. I don’t want his touch. I don’t want any of it.”
Paul’s hands were gentle as he carefully pulled her close. “Focus on me, Liv honey. Keep your eyes open and look at me. I’m the one speaking to you. I’m holding you and touching you. Not him. Look at me,” he ordered as he slowly lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. Their gazes were locked as he slowly pulled away. “Do you hear his voice now?”
“He said he’ll kill me before another man touches me.”
“And I say he’s wrong.” Paul’s lips met hers again; his mouth took hers in a hungry kiss. She met him equally in an effort to banish the memories. She wanted to replace them with new ones. A little thrill ran up her spine as Paul’s large hands circled her waist and found the bare flesh of her back. His fingers slipped under the strap at her shoulder and eased it down. His lips followed his fingers and he pressed hot little kisses to her shoulder. His fingers swept gently down over the curve of her breast. Olivia reached for the buttons on his shirt. She shoved his shirt aside and pressed kisses to his chest. She let herself get lost in sensation. As the haze of desire grew the fear subsided. She wanted him. She wanted to forget.
She was confused when he slowly edged the strap back in place on her shoulder and leaned away from her. “Not like this, Liv honey.” His voice sounded husky and unsteady.
Olivia blinked away the haze of desire. “Um what?”
His look was regretful as he brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek. “I want a commitment between us. I don’t want to be the temporary guy who helps you forget. I might be one of the rare guys who feels this way but I need more – for both our sakes.”