He found himself looking at her like it was the first time he had actually seen her. Despite her unsteady hands and pallor, a byproduct of the adrenaline rush, he had found Mikaela at her most beautiful.
Chapter11
Her last day in London had been magical, by all aspects. Lydia and her daughters outdid themselves in letting Mikaela experience what remained of the city she hadn’t seen yet. They were with her the whole day, shopping, having tea, and walking around.
She had dropped by Victoria’s home before the hotel car drove her off to the airport. She had only seen Justin that morning, as he dropped by at the hotel before work, telling her that she would be traveling alone back to California. Her heart dropped. That was the moment she knew she was in too deep with Justin. No one falls in love in just a few weeks, she told herself. Even if she felt used, even if she felt like an object, she still found herself wanting him to like her back. Which was stupid. Men like Justin would never give women like her the time of the day.
Am I too nice for my own good? she wondered. No, I can’t be, I still want material things, I want to be recognized, I want sex with him… Mikaela tried to stop the negative thoughts from forming. I still have two more months to go, she said to herself. I’ll get through this like how he does it. How does he do it? How can I be that cool about all of this?
Mikaela’s heart was heavy as she boarded the plane that was bringing her back to reality. He really had left her no choice. While she hadn’t expected any reward, she at least expected a change of heart in him. Well, she was wrong. He hadn’t even thanked her for saving his grand aunt. A vacation was still a vacation, no matter how short. Her post-vacation blues had begun the moment the plane taxied down the runway.
Nine hours of first class airplane rest, twenty pounds in excess luggage, and the gratitude of Justin’s family that was beyond priceless made her feel better, if only a little while. She took a cab from the airport, giving the wrong address first (her old apartment), when her phone rang.
“Where the hell are you?” Lynne said irritated. “I was worried sick.”
“I’ll explain later,” she said blearily.
“Are you sick?”
“No, just jetlagged,” Mikaela mumbled.
“Jetlagged? Mikaela Johnson, what the hell is going on?”
“I promise I’ll explain soon, maybe tomorrow. After work.”
She heard Lynne sigh. “You have got a lot of talking to do, Missy.”
“I’ll see you then, okay?” Mikaela put down the phone and watched as the familiar streets raced by her eyes. The sun was hot, and despite her misgivings about English rain, she actually missed it.
Entering her sort of new apartment felt alien to her. It was grand, but it didn’t feel welcoming. She had tried to bring some warmth to it by bringing a few of her salvaged and DIY furniture, some pictures of her family from throughout the years and even her old bedsheets. They hadn’t had sex in this apartment yet, she realized. She didn’t want it tainted by that ugly contract. Ugly? A vacation to London was ugly? A new apartment was ugly? She was his personal whore, at least he made it seem like she was.
Benefits were still benefits th
ough. It was a thought she wanted to instill in herself over and over again. There was some good to come out of this. But what would her mother and father say about this? They were dead, yes, but was she disrespecting their memory by trying to survive and enjoy life? She didn’t even feel enjoyment all throughout. It was fleeting. It was torture to realize she actually liked him more than she expected she would. What was he? Another charming psychopath who just so happened to be a billionaire and whom just so happened to be one of the most gorgeous guys she’d ever met?
There was no shortage of her emotions that went like waves, up and down, and up and down. She was an idiot for allowing this to happen, to even think that he would actually look at her the way he looked at his previous girlfriends in magazines.
Yes, she had done some stalking, she had seen articles about him, and it rang in the same tone, with different bombshell women, women she could never compete with. Why the hell would she, right? He chose her, out of all the women.
Should I be flattered? Maybe I have a golden vagina, she thought almost laughing aloud to herself. She was losing her mind. Tomorrow she would have to work again, toil from seven in the morning until god knows what time, just to keep herself distracted. She hadn’t even taught the kids their dance lessons in weeks and she felt bad about it.
Justin hadn’t asked her if she had safely arrived and she took it as a sign that he was only interested in her for one thing and one thing alone. She wanted to be as callous as he was, so her emotions could be at ease, so she could be at ease. She suddenly missed his mother and sisters, even if they had only been together for less than a day. She was being emotional about all of this, she was being vulnerable, showing how weak she was about finding and keeping love. Was she that needy?
She fought the urge to message him. She fought the urge to call him. Every fiber in her body wanted to talk to him, all she wanted to do was ask him how he was doing, drop a sultry hello, maybe he liked over aggressive women. Maybe he liked it if she wore sexier clothing aside from her usual loose tops and jeans. Maybe she looked too prudish for someone he wanted to keep having sex with. She could invest in lingerie. His ex-girlfriends modeled lingerie.
Mikaela thought she was desperate for his attention, which was pathetic, actually. She reached for her phone and messaged him, hoping he wasn’t too busy to at least respond. She waited until she fell asleep. He never replied.
***
Her first day of work had been sluggish and her coworkers joked that she shouldn’t have taken that vacation. In hindsight, there was a part of her that did regret going to London. Being there had ecstasy, excitement, and disappointment. Being back on American soil was utter disappointment. Malibu felt contained all of a sudden. She liked London for its intense diversity and bipolar weather, which was almost a match for Justin’s approach toward her.
He hadn’t called or texted her in a week, surely he was back, right? She saw his ticket and it said he was supposed to be back a day after she arrived. Of course, being a billionaire could mean he’d be fickle in some aspects of his life, her included.
Had he tired of her? Was he ready to pay $20,000 to get rid of her? She suddenly didn’t care about the money, even if she insisted to herself that it was part of the contract. That was nursing school budget right there, some community college, some small private institution—she didn’t care as long as she got to finish college. She felt anxious all the time, checked her phone often during breaks, while she showered, sometimes it was spam, and sometimes it was Lynne.
Speaking of Lynne, she hadn’t told her friend the entirety of their arrangement. She just said she went to London, all expenses paid for by Justin and it was there that she saved his grand aunt from choking. Lynne wouldn’t stop pestering her if they had done it or not, and she assumed because according to her, Mikaela had fallen for the billionaire playboy.
“I’m not buying the whole ‘let me just get you a ticket to London because I want to’ bit,” Lynne said over the phone a few days ago. “There’s a catch. And if you’d done it with him the way you’re denying it, then there’s something else in the works.”