Carefully, mindful of how fragile her body was, he lowered her back upon the pillows. But she clung to his hand still. Her eyes swam with tears.
‘I want that freedom, too. Oh, Nikos, I want it more than anything in the world!’ Her face crumpled again. ‘I want to be free to love you, free to tell you that I love you. And to love you the way I do.’
She wept again, and he held her again, and she was as light as a feather. For all the world weighed nothing now—nothing at all.
‘I missed you so much,’ she sobbed. ‘I tried so hard not to miss you, but I did. All the time in America I missed you. I missed you wherever I went. Everywhere without you was...awful. I wanted you with me. On the Staten Island Ferry, at the top of the Empire State Building... I wanted to laugh with you in Las Vegas, revel in all its gaudy garishness. And I wanted you to stand beside me at the rim of the Grand Canyon and look down a mile deep into the earth. I wanted you everywhere I went. And you weren’t there, Nikos, because I’d walked out on you—and I’d walked out on you because...because...’
The sobbing came again, and once again he was soothing her, stroking her hair, clasping her hand tight, so tight.
‘Because I knew that if I didn’t go then, I’d never go. And I had to go—it was a holiday romance we had—only that. That was all you wanted—and all I wanted—all I thought it would ever be. But it wasn’t, Nikos—it wasn’t, it wasn’t... But it had never been supposed to be anything more than a holiday romance because I wanted to be free—free like I’ve wanted to be for so, so long.’
She pulled away from him, her face working, full of anguish.
‘When I first found out I was pregnant I...I was distraught. I was terrified that I’d be plunged back into having to take care of another human being just when I’d got my own life back. But at the same time I felt my heart leap with joy. I had a baby growing inside me—a wondrous new life—and it was your baby, Nikos. Yours. And I realised...I realised...’ her eyes were clinging to his and her hands were clinging to him ‘...I realised, Nikos, that all I wanted on this earth was to be free to love my baby—free to want my baby more than anything else in all the world. And because of that...because of that—’
She broke off, tears welling again, her voice choked with emotion, with discovery.
‘Because all I wanted was to love my baby I knew...I knew—oh, Nikos—I knew it meant I was free to love. Free to love you. Love you the way I wanted to. The way I’d feared to because it was loving my poor grandfather that kept me by his side so long. I feared love would be a tie. And I thought all I wanted was to be free of all ties. Free of all bonds.’
Tears flowed down her cheeks and she felt her heart must surely overflow with the emotion now pouring through her.
‘But to love you, Nikos, is to be free.’
He moved to sweep her to him, but she held him back, fear leaping in her eyes.
‘But am I free to love you, Nikos? Am I? You talked of standing by me and “responsibilities”. And—’
‘Mel, my darling one, I said that only because I didn’t want to burden you with my wanting you the way I do. With my wanting, more than anything in this life, to be your husband—your devoted, loving husband—the father to our beloved child—with you, my beloved wife.’
She gave a little choke of laughter and of tears. Of happiness and bliss.
‘What fools we’ve been. Denying what we both craved.’
‘Each other!’ Nikos finished, and then he swept her to him, wanting no more pointless words, no more unnecessary doubts, no more fleeting fears.
He was free, finally, to hold her, to embrace her, to kiss her—to love her. As she was free to love him in return. And they were both free to love the child she carried.
Free to be happy with each other—all their lives.
A cough sounded from the doorway. They sprang apart. The nurse took in Mel’s tear-stained face and frowned slightly.
‘Happy tears or sad tears?’ she asked enquiringly, with a lift of her eyebrow.
‘Happy,’ said Mel and Nikos in unison.
The nurse’s gaze went to their fast-clasped hands, and she nodded. ‘Not too much emotion,’ she advised, with another nod and a smile. ‘Not good for baby.’
She picked up the notes from the foot of the bed, glancing at them. ‘Overnight stay for observation,’ she confirmed. Then she glanced at Nikos. ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but it’s not actually visiting hours at the moment. It’s only because your—’
‘Wife-to-be,’ Nikos inserted, throwing a glance at Mel.