But she knew that she couldn’t let it.
There was absolutely no point in continuing to explore a sexual relationship with Xander. Especially when his comments afterwards, concerning the inclusion of clauses in their contract about separate bedrooms and there being no repeat of what had happened between them, had to mean that their time together couldn’t have meant the same to him as it had to her. It was obviously no hardship on his part to forego an intimate relationship with her.
How could it be? Xander was gorgeous, extremely sexy, and there had to have been dozens of woman in his life—both before and since his marriage to Chloe. Unlike Casey, who had previously only ever known Sam as a lover. And even that one time with Xander had shown her just how awful Sam’s lovemaking had been in comparison!
Once Sam had realised on their wedding night that she was still a virgin, he had never particularly cared about initiating her into pleasure.
He’d seemed to think she should know what to do—that her inexperience was nothing but a liability he had no time for, and it was her own fault she never reached a climax in their lovemaking.
And she had accepted what he told her—had been sure that he was right, that there must be something wrong with her because she didn’t enjoy sex with her own husband.
She had enjoyed it with Xander last night.
Because she had instinctively known what to do with Xander!
He had allowed her to kiss and caress him, pulling her on top of him as he’d invited her to take the initiative.
And he had felt so good. So—
‘Is everything okay?’
She spun round guiltily as Xander suddenly spoke behind her, spraying him with water because she still held the showerhead in her hand.
‘Thanks!’ he murmured ruefully as he looked down at the water soaking into his pristine white shirt.
‘Oh, Lord!’ Casey gasped her dismay as she realised what she had done, quickly turning off the water to drop the shower head into the bath.
She picked up a towel and moved across the room to wipe ineffectually at his shirt-front, her movements slowing and then finally stopping when she found her gaze caught and held by the way the shirt clung to him, the material almost see-through now, the dark hair on his chest clearly visible.
She looked up at him from beneath lowered lashes, and then quickly looked away again as she found him looking down at her with enigmatic blue eyes.
‘I’m really sorry about that,’ she mumbled awkwardly.
‘Forget it,’ he dismissed.
Forget the way the shirt was clinging to him, outlining his muscled arms, the powerful expanse of his chest, making him look more sexy than if he actually hadn’t been wearing a shirt at all? Impossible!
‘Perhaps you had better go and change—’
‘I said forget it, Casey. I’m more interested in whether or not you have everything you need,’ he said gently.
She swallowed hard, knowing that he wouldn’t want to hear what she needed at that moment!
Because she needed him. His arms about her. His mouth on hers. His hands caressing her.
She moistened lips that had gone suddenly dry. ‘Josh and I are fine. Thank you,’ she added.
‘I’ve already spoken to Josh and established that he’s more than happy. Lauren, too,’ Xander said. ‘I was asking about you, Casey.’
What did he want her to say? That she was fine, too? That all of this was fine with her? That she was already as comfortable with her drastic change in lifestyle as Josh obviously was? That she wasn’t bothered by the fact that Xander’s idea of separate bedrooms was actually to have adjoining ones?
What she really wanted to say was that she had made a mistake in even thinking that she could go through with a marriage of convenience now that she had realised how she felt about him.
That in the three short weeks she had known him she had fallen in love with him…
Oh, yes—she could just see herself telling Xander all of that!
‘Everything is fine.’ She nodded, still not able to meet his gaze.
How could she, when yesterday evening she had behaved like a complete wanton in his arms and for every hour since then had wanted a repeat of what they’d done?
Xander’s gaze rested thoughtfully on her bent head as he saw her total unease in his company—not that it was surprising after what had happened last night.
Casey had made it perfectly clear to him—several times!—that she wasn’t interested in a physical relationship with him.
Something he’d had no trouble in totally ignoring once he had her in his arms.
In fact, a part of him had been surprised to discover she had moved in as planned when he’d got home this evening. He had half expected that she might have decided she couldn’t go through with marrying him, after all.
What the hell had he been thinking of when he’d taken her on his desktop like that?
The problem was he hadn’t been thinking at all—had been driven to kiss and caress every silken inch of her, to feel her nakedness against him, to taste her.
Not what she would have been expecting when she’d only come to discuss some changes to the contract he’d had drawn up!
Changes he had spent most of the day trying to make sense of—when he hadn’t been thinking of how Casey tasted and felt, that was!
This woman—a woman he had three weeks ago cold-bloodedly decided to marry—made him feel anything but cold-blooded. Even standing next to her now, his wet shirt clinging to him uncomfortably, he knew that he wanted her. Wanted her wild and wanton beneath him as he entered her, as he felt himself engulfed by her, possessed by her, as they both reached a shuddering climax this time.
It had all seemed so simple when he’d first come up with this plan—so uncomplicated: marriage to a woman he didn’t love, who made no pretence of loving him, and both of them knowing exactly what was expected, wanted from the marriage.
After last night it didn’t seem that uncomplicated at all.
There was no way—absolutely no way—he was going to be able to share this house with her, occupy the adjoining bedroom to hers, without wanting to make love to her again.
In fact, as things stood, he wasn’t sure that he could go through with this marriage of convenience at all!
‘I need to talk to you, Casey,’ he rasped. ‘Alone,’ he added, as Josh could be heard singing happily in the adjoining bedroom.
She gave him a startled look. ‘I—we’re due to have dinner with the children,’ she reminded him.
He nodded curtly, well aware that he was the one to have suggested the arrangement. He just hadn’t realised at the time how desperately he would need to be alone with Casey.
‘Once they’re both in bed will do,’ he said.
‘I—of course,’ Casey agreed slowly, shooting him an uncertain glance as she did so.
Xander’s eyes, as he returned her gaze, were dark and unreadable—although the harsh expression on his face certainly wasn’t encouraging.
What did he need to speak to her about so urgently? she wondered, with a sickening jolt in her stomach.
Had he spoken to Brad Henderson today and worked out some sort of compromise with him?
Had Xander decided not to go ahead with their marriage, after all?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SITTING through dinner, with Xander now looking incredibly sexy in black trousers and a black silk shirt that showed off the broad width of his shoulders and the flatness of his stomach, trying to pretend, for Josh and Lauren’s sake, that they really were going to be one big, happy family, was absolutely excruciating for Casey.
Especially when, as the minutes slowly passed, and the brooding Xander seemed to have trouble addressing even the most casual of remarks to her, it became more and more obvious he wished her anywhere but here in his home.
If he had changed his mind—if he had decided not to go ahead with the marriage—then he should have sought her out earlier today and told her so. Before she’d had a chance to actually move herself and Josh in here, Casey thought. It was going to be much harder for all of them if she and Josh simply had to move out again.
When Lauren requested that Casey be the one to put her to bed as well as Josh, Casey felt even more of a fraud, and her cheeks were flushed with anger when she returned to the sitting room minutes later, to find Xander standing beside the fireplace enjoying a glass of brandy.
‘Like one?’ He held up the bulbous glass.
‘Am I going to need one?’ she returned sharply.
‘That depends on your perspective on things!’
Casey’s mouth set unhappily. ‘In that case, I’ll have some,’ she said, before moving to stand on the other side of the fireplace to stare down sightlessly at the crackling flames as she waited for Xander to return with the brandy.
She was wearing a green off-the-shoulder dress this evening, Xander noted admiringly, glancing across at her as he poured her brandy and refreshed his own glass. The soft material clung to the pert thrust of her breasts and the slender lines of her waist and thighs.
In fact, Xander had been looking at her admiringly all evening. Casey was beautiful—more subtly, quietly so than Chloe had ever been, but it was a beauty that came from within. He didn’t doubt that in fifty years or so Casey would still be radiantly lovely.
Fifty years or so…
Where would he be in fifty years?
Still here at Fraser House, he suspected, with Lauren and Josh having left long ago to make their own way in the world. Casey would be gone too, once there were no children to bind them together. So it would be just Xander, rattling around in a house that would no longer have a family in it to make it a home.