My end is inevitable. A few months ago I would have let my father kill me in a heartbeat. Back then I was just going through the motions, nothing meant anything.
Then I let myself feel. What a stupid thing really. I let her into my broken heart, let her seal up all the cracks and make me whole again only for her to shatter it to pieces as soon as she was done with me.
I take slow, measured steps from the driveway into my father's house. I’m counting down the seconds I have left.
I inhale the fresh air.
Feel the cool chill of the Boston wind across my shoulders.
I take in everything around me as if it’s the last time I’ll see it again.
When I walk into the house, my mother is the first one to greet me. She wraps her slender arms around me, hugging me tightly. The hug confirms that she knows something is up. I feel like this is a goodbye.
I embrace her back. I can’t remember the last time I hugged my mom like this, like I really loved her. I do love her, I probably don’t show it enough. I blame my lack of emotions on my father.
She leans back, pressing each of her hands to my face. “I love you, Liam, and no matter what happens tonight, I will always be proud of you and I will always love you.” She presses a quick kiss to my cheek and I let her.
I give her a slight nod, and move toward my father’s office.
He’s leaning back in his leather chair nursing a low ball of whiskey when I enter. Declan is also in there, waiting. He sits in a seat in the corner of the office, one leg crossed over the other and holding his own glass of whiskey.
I enter the office silently. Even after an hour drive I still don’t have words for them.
I don’t regret my actions.
Actually, I think I would do it all again, even knowing it would end in heartbreak. I think I always knew it would end this way, I never believed that we had a future together. I never thought that our love was anything but tragic.
I don’t regret her.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” my father asks, there’s a snarl to his words.
“No.” I tell him, still standing in front of his desk, hands tucked into the pockets of my jeans. I’m not lying, I have nothing to say.
Nothing I say would matter anyway.
“Nothing?” His lips curve into a frown as he watches me over the rim of his glass. “Nothing at all?”
“Nope.”
He scowls, clearly unsatisfied that I didn’t crawl in here begging for my life. He should have expected this, he’s the one who taught me not to beg.
“Liam, did you fuck that girl?” The words leave his lips cruelly.
That girl.
He means Gemma. She has a name. She has thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. She’s more than just that girl. I could go on and on to my father about everything that girl is. But I don’t.
“Yes,” I say, truthfully.
“Why?” he asks grimly.
I shrug. “I wanted to.” I tell him. It’s the truth, as soon as I saw her I wanted her. I wanted to claim her, to make her mine. Once I had her though, I knew she wasn’t an object that could be claimed. Then, I just wanted to be with her. To be worthy of being her partner. “And once I had her I didn’t want to stop.”
Declan snorts behind me. “Pussy that good, huh?”
I turn, giving him a sly smirk. “Better.”
That makes him frown.