“Hi,” Gio knocks but then immediately enters. We’ve never been a family that respects privacy well.
He assesses me, still unshowered and laying
wrapped in a fleece blanket with Waldo the cat tucked into my side. I’ve at least changed into a pair of pajama shorts and a t-shirt.
Waldo, the traitor that he is, stands and meows for Gio’s attention. My brother would never admit to being a softie, but he is. When it comes to animals, Gio is a sweetheart. He leans in and lets Waldo press his head against his.
“Are you here to see Waldo or me?”
“You, Waldo’s just a bonus.” Gio gives me a smile and sits down on the end of my bed.
“I’m fine.” I tell him, but I’m lying. “You didn’t need to check on me.”
“I know.” He avoids looking at me as he continues to pet Waldo and think over his next words carefully. “You know, Papa didn’t mean that.”
I exhale a breath. “I doubt that.”
“He was just angry, Gem.” He tries.
That might be true, but it doesn’t make it okay.
My father, my confidant, just cut me with the cruelest words.
“She wouldn’t be disappointed.” He says softly.
I glare at him. “I guess we’ll never know.”
Gio sighs and leans against one of the posts at the end of the bed. “Gem, we’re just worried.” Before I can cut in, he continues. “And it’s not because we don’t trust you, so don’t start with that shit. We don’t trust them. If they find you…” He trails off and there’s a pained expression on his face. “I don’t know what I would do if they hurt you.” His eyes meet mine and I can tell that he’s serious.
I get it. I don’t know what I would do if I lost one of them. I couldn’t handle another death in our family.
“I know.” I whisper, moving my eyes to avoid his gaze. I’m not directly lying, but I’m omitting the truth and it hurts me to lie to him.
Gio nods, thankful. “Was he good at least?” He asks with a chuckle.
If only he knew.
“Do you really want to know?”
He barks a laugh. “Nope. Not at all.”
“Gio, I want to visit Adelina soon. Do you think you can get Papa and Gian on board?”
Gio sighs heavily. “Yeah, I’ll see what I can do.” He leans in, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. “You’ll be safe?”
“Of course.” I lie.
My brothers love me, I know.
I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I’m not ready to give up Liam.
“Okay,” Gio smiles and stands from my bed, leaving me.
I might be a terrible person, but I’m going to see how this ends.
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” MY mother's question comes from a caring place, but even so it feels like an attack. “You haven’t been around in awhile, hmm?”
She doesn’t look up from her task at hand as she questions me. She sets the table with nice plates and silverware, placing cloth napkins precisely rolled in the center of each plate. My mother is a perfectionist. Her world revolves around this home and how perfect it is, how nice her belongings are, and how pretty she looks.