“I’m sorry,” I whisper, even though I don’t believe she can hear me.
I don’t know if there's anything after this life or where she might be now. But on the off chance that she can hear me, I want her to know I’m sorry. If I could, I would do it all differently, I would.
I want her to know that even through all my bickering and whining, I truly did love her.
By the time I get back to the house, Noah looks pissed off.
“You don’t answer your phone?” he asks when I walk in. He’s on me in a second, pressing me back against the door. Dark eyes meet mine, peering down at me.
“I’m sorry.” I mutter.
A knock sounds on the door, reverberating through the wood so I can feel it on my back.
“It’s Beck,” Beckett calls and Noah loosens his grip on me enough to step out of the way and let Beckett in. His eyes roam over the two of us, assessing our current state. I’m sure he could hear Noah yell at me through the door.
I wonder what they think, all of the inner circle, when they see us like this.
The screaming. The yelling. The making up.
When we’re good, we’re really good. But when we’re bad… we’re fucking toxic.
“You’re lucky I had Beck follow you.” Noah snarls, slamming the door closed behind Beckett.
“Seriously,” I ask, both of my hands finding the curves of my hips, my eyes locked on him. “You needed to have me followed?”
He tosses me a glare, a silent gesture warning me to shut up.
Another day, I might have. But right now there’s a fire coursing through my veins. The news of Auden’s text messages is still fresh on my mind. My heart is already split open and I have nothing to lose at this point.
“What about trust?” I ask, my hands reaching out in front of me and pushing against his chest.
It feels like everything comes to a standstill at the action. Noah doesn’t flinch, he’s not even moved an inch by my shove but his eyes become darker, glaring at me as if the action was more damaging than it was. Beckett sucks in a sharp breath, silently watching us.
“You’re asking me that?” he asks, a slight laugh escapes his lips. “That’s rich, Mik.”
I cross my arms over my chest, attempting to stand my ground while also backing myself up against the wall. “Noah—”
“No,” he cuts me off, jabbing a finger in my face. “I trust you, Mik. I do, deep down I do. But you don’t even know who you are lately, you're confused and I don’t trust that version of you.”
His words cut through me, going straight for my heart and adding themselves to the pile of hurt that Noah has caused.
“She texted me that night. Did you know that?” A flicker of something washes over Noah’s features, but it’s gone too quickly for me to understand what it was.
“Yeah? What’d she say?” he asks, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans and takes a step back from me.
“You know.” I say, this time is me who steps forward, invading his space. “You’re the one who deleted them, right? Hid all the evidence that my sister was trying to contact me? That something happened to her? You’re always trying to protect me righ
t?” I say mockingly. “So this was you?”
Air rushes from his lungs as he runs a hand through his thick black hair. “Mik—”
“So, it’s a yes?” I cut him off.
He speaks of trust so damn often, constantly holding it over my head as a mold I need to fit, but he doesn’t trust me. He just wants me to fit into his life, but he doesn’t give a damn about how he fits into mine.
“Fuck you!” I growl. My hand lashes out, swiping over the entryway table and knocking all the contents to the ground. A vase shatters and car keys go flying. I see Beckett flinch out of the corner of my eye but Noah doesn’t. He closes his eyes, inhaling deeply and then focusing on me again.
“You’re overreacting,” he says.