I still didn’t.
But now, at least, I had the time to figure it out.
I began toying with the button on his pants as I lifted my eyes to meet his. I had no idea where my boldness was coming from as I pinned him with my gaze. “Did you come the other night? In my studio?”
His warm brown eyes went impossibly dark. “Yes,” he whispered.
I flicked his pants open and played with the zipper. “Did you like it when I was inside you?”
He didn’t verbally answer this time. He managed a nod and then groaned and shut his eyes when I pulled his zipper down. I fondled him through his underwear. My own cock felt like it was going to claw its way through my pants.
“Cam, look at me,” I demanded as I stilled my hand.
He sucked in a breath and opened his eyes. His fingers were digging into my thighs.
“I want to fuck you again like that,” I admitted. Nerves skittered up my spine as I waited for him to respond. I felt like I was opening even more of that box to him and I wasn’t sure how he’d react. I thought that secret part of me that had loved holding Cam down and taking him so roughly was ugly and cruel and disgusting, but he’d said he’d liked it. I needed to see his eyes when he answered me because then I’d know.
“Yes,” Cam said on a moan and then he sat up straight and kissed me hard. He began grinding against my hand. “Anything you want, Ford.”
I returned his hungry kiss until we were both breathless. My whole body shuddered with a mix of excitement, anticipation, and fear. I threaded my free hand through Cam’s soft hair and nuzzled the stubble on his face, then kissed him softly. I wasn’t sure if his eyes were closed or not because I’d squeezed mine shut in preparation.
“Anything?” I asked.
I felt him nod.
“Will you fuck me, Cam?”
Chapter Seventeen
Cam
All the air rushed from my lungs because I hadn’t been expecting his question. I’d been fully prepared to give him my body in any way he wanted it, but I’d just assumed he’d want to fuck me again like he had in his studio.
My body shook with the need to answer him, but my mind was reminding me that this would be just another step that I couldn’t take back. I wanted to believe Ford was open to embracing his sexuality, but I’d been with plenty of men who’d said the same thing when their sexual desires were kicked up to nearly impossible heights. My self-preservation instinct was alive and well within me, but Ford’s hold on me was stronger. If he looked at me tomorrow morning with regret, it would just fucking end me.
But how did I tell him that?
“Cam?”
“Yes,” I agreed when I heard the uncertainty in his voice. “Yes,” I said again, then kissed him hard and fast. “I want you so fucking bad, Ford.”
“Me too,” he admitted shakily, then he was kissing me back and the need for words came to an end.
Ford’s hand closed around my dick as he made love to my mouth. His free hand smoothed up and down my chest and over my back. I slipped one hand down the back of his jeans so I could grip his ass. The jeans were too snug for me to get far, but I could reach the top of his crease.
Ford moaned into my mouth as I slid my finger up and down just a little. I pulled back to put some space between us and then went to work on his fly. He was still stroking my cock. His hand became bolder and bolder the more he pumped my dick. I was leaking into his touch and by the time I got his pants open, I was basically fucking his hand.
I wrapped one hand around his cock and used the other to ease his jeans and underwear down to expose his ass. He tensed up just a little but didn’t pull away.
“Are you—”
“Yes,” Ford interrupted.
I smiled. “You didn’t even know what I was going to ask.”
He laughed and said, “Don’t care. The answer is still yes.” The sight of Ford so light and seemingly happy did ridiculous things to my heart. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d seen him smile, let alone heard him laugh. I doubted I’d ever heard it.
“Yes, I want this,” he said before punctuating the statement with a kiss. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Another kiss.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
A third kiss.
“Yes, hurry up please.”
I laughed at that one so he couldn’t really kiss me. But he got his revenge by resuming the pressure on my dick.
“Fuck,” I muttered. I slammed my mouth down on his and slid both my hands over his ass. The move had him shifting forward so his dick was touching mine. His hand was caught between us.