Fingers bit into my leg as I leaned all my weight onto Cam’s back. His shoulders buckled and his upper half ended up on the ground. I pinned him down by putting my hand on the back of his neck and held his hip with my other hand. The new angle had me going so deep that it didn’t feel real anymore. Agonizing pain and pleasure raced up my spine at the same time. Darkness threatened to steal my vision as every thought, every emotion, every physical sensation centered in my balls. My cock shuttled in and out of Cam with no resistance whatsoever.
He was mine now.
Well and truly.
And I was his, even though I knew he’d never want me again… not like he had when we’d started this.
The thought made something in my chest ache, even as the anticipation of release in my balls started to furl out to the rest of my body. Every part of me was drawn up tight with the need to come.
Except my heart.
I was afraid of what would happen to it when I’d taken my pleasure.
I leaned over Cam and kissed his shoulder blade, his collar bone, his neck. “Please,” I whispered against his ear. “Please don’t hate me.”
I wasn’t sure if he heard me or not. I didn’t wait to see if he did because I leaned down and sought out his mouth. I was stunned when he kissed me back. I was slamming into him with no finesse or gentleness, so I tried to give back to him with my mouth. I kept my kiss deep but gentle and soft. Cam’s hand came up to tangle in my hair.
Something about the move triggered my body to react violently. I screamed against his parted lips as the orgasm hit me like a nuclear bomb. I squeezed my eyes shut as the pressure that had been building inside every nerve and cell in my body finally exploded. Shards of light danced painfully behind my eyelids as I shoved into Cam one last time. My knees scraped over the concrete floor as I buried myself as deep inside of Cam as I could. I sobbed in relief as wave after wave of stunning, all-consuming pleasure flowed through me. My body jerked and spasmed as I shot what felt like endless lines of cum into the condom. Cam cried out beneath me and began shaking violently as I continued to throb inside him. I buried my face against his shoulder as he collapsed beneath my weight. My arms were wrapped around his torso so I could feel how cold the ground was. Most of my body was on top of Cam’s and my still hard dick was twitching inside of him as aftershocks ricocheted through my body.
I felt like the orgasm had drained my very soul from my body. Surely, this was what heaven was like. This weightlessness, this softness, this feeling of rightness. Reverend Page had never answered my questions about heaven and now I knew why.
He’d never had a moment like this.
I doubted few people had.
I’d never felt more alive and at peace in my entire life. For the first time ever, I felt perfect… I was perfect.
But the feeling didn’t last any longer than it took for Cam to shift slightly beneath my body and let out a rough breath.
The shame that went through me was as powerful as the orgasm had been.
More so even.
Not only had I had sex with a man, it’d been hard, rough sex and I’d been the aggressor. I may have come into this whole thing as the inexperienced one, but it had been my dick shoved callously into Cam’s body, my weight that had pinned him to the floor, my hand that had held him down by the back of the neck.
Bile crawled up the back of my throat as the true scope of my aggression hit me.
It was just like it had been with Theo.
Maybe worse, I wasn’t sure.
All I knew was that Cam had trusted me like Theo had, he’d cared about me like Theo had, and like with Theo, I’d cast that kindness aside in favor of myself.
Again.
Nausea rolled through me in a violent wave that left me light-headed. I somehow managed to pull free of Cam’s body as carefully as I could and sat up. I sat on my ass and held onto my head in the hopes of easing my rolling belly. My eyes fell on the spent condom on my dick. The sight of the tip full of my semen sent me over the edge and I ripped the thing off as I clambered to my feet.
“Ford?”
I ignored Cam as I stumbled to the chair where I kept my clothes. I somehow managed to stomp my bare feet into my boots as I yanked my pants up and buttoned them.