And I did not like what I saw.
Cam’s jaw looked so hard that I was sure he’d end up breaking some teeth. His eyes were on the road and his features were pulled up tight with something that looked a whole lot like anger.
I felt my stomach drop out as I realized the gentle man who’d been trying to comfort me about Walter was gone altogether.
“Sheriff—” I began, but his brittle voice cut in, silencing me with its iciness.
“Do me a favor, Mr. Cornell. Leave me out of your begging for forgiveness shit because this fag has absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”
His ugly words cut me to the core and stole my breath.
I tried to pick up my prayer again, making sure to keep my words to myself this time, but I couldn’t manage to remember where I’d been. Nor could I remember how the prayer started.
No, my mind had abandoned me so it could replay those moments where I’d tasted Cam’s skin and he’d whispered my name with the same breath he’d used to make his pleasure known.
And when I was finally able to silently start putting the words together for an apology, it wasn’t God I was asking for forgiveness.
It was Cam.
But he didn’t hear me, of course, because just like eight years earlier, I was too much of a fucking coward to actually say the words out loud.
Chapter Five
Cam
My plan had been to just ditch Ford after I got him to the ER in Greenville, but a couple of things had happened after I’d led him from my vehicle to the registration desk. A nurse had been there to triage him and while I’d wanted to just dump him on her, the fact that she’d recognized Ford and murmured, “Oh no, Ford, what happened this time?” had kept me from walking away immediately.
Greenville General Hospital wasn’t the busiest of medical centers, but the fact that the woman had recognized Ford so quickly and had zoned in on his fading bruises had had me realizing Ford was probably a regular customer because of Jimmy.
Fact number two that had kept me around was when Ford disregarded the nurse’s attempts to find out what had happened to him and had peppered her with questions about Walter.
Questions the nurse wasn’t legally allowed to answer, since Ford wasn’t family. As irritated as I’d been with Ford, I hadn’t wanted him to suffer through not knowing Walter’s status, especially if it was likely to prevent Ford from seeking help for himself, so I stepped in and used my badge to get the information that we both wanted to know about Walter.
Which wasn’t much, since Walter was still being treated by the ER staff.
At that point, Ford had finally told the nurse what had happened, though I’d had to answer some of her questions about things like whether he’d lost consciousness and how long he’d been in the water.
As we made our way to the waiting room once the nurse determined Ford wasn’t in any immediate danger, Ford asked, “Will Puddles be okay in the car?”
“Yeah. The plan was for Pelican Bay to get a canine at some point, so the SUV is equipped to keep the temperature regulated without the motor needing to be on the whole time. I’ll have Alex pick her up and take her to Sawyer’s place to have her checked out.”
Sawyer was a new veterinarian in town who was still in the process of getting his practice set up. I didn’t know much about the young man, but he seemed like a good guy, and the fact that he’d spent much of his recent time volunteering at the wildlife rehabilitation center outside town was proof enough of his commitment to furry, feathered, and scaled creatures.
I found some seats for Ford and myself near the window. Neither of us spoke, but when Ford began rocking back and forth in the hard chair, I automatically put my hand out to touch his arm before I could rethink what I was doing. Thankfully, I kept the contact brief enough to just get his attention. Ford seemed surprised to realize he’d been moving at all and stopped.
“Sorry,” he whispered. But within a minute, he was doing it again and this time I kept my hands to myself.
“I just need to see Walter,” Ford murmured after several more minutes. It seemed to be more to himself than anything. The ER wasn’t super busy, but the fact that the medical staff hadn’t taken Ford back right away was proof that even in the middle of the day, the hospital wasn’t exactly quiet either.
“He’ll be okay, Ford,” I responded, careful not to reach out and touch him in an effort to offer comfort, because that hadn’t worked so good for me the last time.
We need to pray for forgiveness…