“Maddox, I can’t,” I breathed, even as I reached into the box to take the tags out. “They’re so important to you,” I said. “They’re… they’re who you are.”
“Which is why I want you to have them,” Maddox said as he took the tags and eased the chain over my neck. “I want to know that a part of me will always be with the man who’s managed to steal my heart.”
I gasped at his words. He put his fingers to my chin and said, “If you won’t let me be with you, Isaac, then I want you to at least see me every time you look in the mirror, every time you feel the weight of these against your heart. That’s me there. Cherishing you, protecting you… loving you.”
I closed my eyes because it hurt too much to look at him. But it didn’t matter. He was there in my mind’s eye too.
He loved me.
Maddox loved me.
He wanted to be with me.
He wanted to take care of me and protect me and make it so I was never alone again.
He loves me.
I couldn’t say the words back.
I just couldn’t. But for once I was going to ignore my brain and follow my heart.
I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, “I love you so fucking much, Maddox. So much.” I wasn’t even sure he heard me because my voice was cracking so damn bad, but when he let out a little sigh and cradled the back of my head with his hand, I knew he had. I could feel the dog tags pressed between us, but the weight of them around my neck terrified me as one question kept repeating on a loop in my head.
How the hell am I supposed to walk away now?
Chapter Twenty-One
Maddox
Lieutenant Kent!”
I stiffened at the familiar title and turned around to see who was calling out to me. Most of the people in town called me by my military title, though I’d asked them repeatedly just to call me by name.
It was Ford Cornell who was calling to me as he hurried to catch up to me on the sidewalk. I felt a shimmer of anger go through me when I saw that Ford was once again bruised, this time on his neck.
Much like Isaac had been bruised the day Jimmy had attacked him outside the thrift shop. I’d wanted to hunt Jimmy down and beat the shit out of him, but my fear of exposing Isaac in any kind of way to the authorities had kept me from doing it. As it was, Isaac was avoiding going into town whenever possible. The only thing he’d done that had anything to do with the residents of Pelican Bay besides interacting with those who were still occasionally coming out to the shelter, was to arrange some playdates for Newt with Justin and Emily Knapp. I’d been shocked when he’d reached out to the mother of the kids from the urgent care clinic waiting room a few days after Christmas, but he had. He’d ended up taking Newt over to the Knapp house and had stayed and chatted with Brenda Knapp as Newt had played with his new friends for a couple of hours. The Knapp children had come to the sanctuary the day before for a personalized tour and for Newt to show off Loki to them. Then they’d watched all the Cars movies in Dallas and Nolan’s house and had even ended up making it a sleepover.
If that event hadn’t been enough to have me thinking that something might have changed for Isaac in regard to leaving Pelican Bay, the fact that it was the day after New Year’s was a pretty big indicator that he wasn’t in the same rush to leave. He’d been so adamant about leaving right after Christmas, but when that day had come, the issue hadn’t even come up.
I liked to think it was a combination of things that were making it hard for Isaac to pack up and leave.
My biggest hope was that my admission that I loved him was one of the things holding him here. I also hoped that the taste of family he’d gotten Christmas morning had played a part too. I’d ended up spending Christmas Eve at Nolan and Dallas’s house, and for the first time ever, Isaac and I had gotten to sleep in the same bed the whole night through. We’d woken up in each other’s arms when Newt had jumped on the bed and declared that Santa had come.
And Santa had come in a big way.
There’d been dozens and dozens of presents under the tree. And while most had been for Newt, there’d been plenty of others to go around. Even Dallas and I had exchanged gifts. But the best part had been when he’d hugged me that morning and in his raspy voice had said, “Merry Christmas, Maddox. Welcome home” in my ear.