I froze at the sight of the bright white, lacy material covering the part of his upper groin I could see. It tapered to a narrower strip of fabric that was more sheer and rode high on his hip. Isaac frantically tried to pull his jeans back up, but it didn’t matter. I already knew what I’d seen, even if I couldn’t make sense of it.
He was wearing women’s underwear.
Even if I could have somehow mentally tried to convince myself they were a feminine version of men’s underwear, his reaction to my discovery was enough to tell me I was right and that there was nothing else the scrap of material could be other than panties.
“Oh God,” Isaac cried, then he ripped my hand from his jeans and yanked them up. He took off out of the room before I could stop him, even though I was too shell-shocked to even consider doing so.
Chapter Twelve
Isaac
So is this how it’s going to be?” I snapped the second I stepped into the electrical room in the small animal building and my eyes searched out Maddox. He was leaning over some kind of piece of equipment that I knew had something to do with the automatic waterers that each habitat included. “I’m not a freak, you know!” I practically yelled.
Maddox straightened and eyed me but didn’t say anything.
Which only served to piss me off even more.
It’d been two days since he’d discovered my secret.
Two whole days.
And he hadn’t said even one single word to me about it. He hadn’t said even one single word to me at all.
He’d talked to Newt a few times when he’d stopped by the house to check on him the day following the seizure, and he’d said hello in passing to Sawyer and made conversation with Nolan and Dallas.
But me…
He’d ignored me like I… like I didn’t even exist anymore.
“It’s totally normal!” I spit out. “A lot of guys do it. Straight ones and gay ones,” I insisted. Some of my fire began to die off the more Maddox stared at me. But the humiliation made it impossible for me to keep my mouth shut. “And it’s not like you had any right to find out like you did… or at all!” My throat closed up when he suddenly began walking toward me. To my horror, I started backing up at the same time, but I couldn’t stop talking.
“You’re just embarrassed,” I insisted. “You kissed a guy and you liked it and you can’t deny it and now you find out he… he…”
Jesus, what the hell was happening to me? I’d come down here full of righteous indignation and with a plan to rip him a new one, but one look at his hard eyes and tight jaw and I was a blubbering mess.
Where was the man who’d spoken so sweetly to Newt? Where was the guy who’d held me in his arms and called me baby and taken care of me? And why the hell had I let that happen? Why had I let myself believe he’d be different? And why in the name of all that was good and holy hadn’t I remembered I was wearing the underwear until it was too damn late? I never, ever wore them when there was even the smallest chance my secret could be discovered, choosing instead to wear them in private and only for short stints at a time–long enough to get what I needed out of them. But I’d needed the security and confidence the pretty underwear never failed to bring me after the devastating kiss Maddox had laid on me the night before, so I’d worn them despite the risk.
“You’re the one with the problem,” I yelled, even as my voice broke a bit. “You’re so narrow-minded and uptight and controlling—”
I stopped talking when my back hit the wall behind me. Maddox kept coming at me. He had some kind of tool in his hand. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but the shame and humiliation were like a raw nerve flayed open wide somewhere deep inside me and my instinct to keep attacking would not be quelled, even if my brain was screaming at me to shut the hell up.
“I didn’t ask for your help that day and I don’t need it! Newt and I are fine, we’re… we’re…”
Jesus, why couldn’t I even get the word out?
Maddox’s chest brushed mine just as I managed to whisper “fine.”
“Are you finished?” he asked, his voice obscenely calm.
I wanted to hit him.
He’d reduced me to a quivering mess and he was acting like I was just a kid throwing a temper tantrum. He had no clue what he’d done to me.
And it had all started in that fucking motel room when he’d asked me to put on my lip gloss.