Try as I might, though, my eyes went back to the pair and I regretted it instantly because at that very moment, Travis pulled back from Brandy and took her hand again, then led her into the darkened hallway. I numbly turned back around to face the bar and as one image after another of Travis and his conquest assaulted my brain, I set my drink back on the worn countertop and pushed it away from me.
When Bull appeared in front of me, I didn't even give him the chance to say anything. "Jack and Coke," I said as I kept my eyes on the bar top.
"Ain't you driving?" Bull asked. If my throat hadn't been clogged with so many emotions that made me want to cry, I would've laughed. No one even saw me as Jackson Doyle anymore. I was the guy who drove Travis home after he had a good time. On really bad nights, I was the one the friend of Travis's date was stuck with until the pair were through with their hookup.
Fuck that. Maybe I wasn't the kind of guy who could just randomly hook up, but maybe that was because I’d never really had the chance. Maybe Hal from the hardware store would prove me wrong about myself. Any doubts I had about the ad I’d placed went up in smoke.
"Jack and Coke," I repeated, keeping my voice even and firm. I took the keys Travis had left in the ignition of his truck and slid them across the bar.
Fuck Travis, fuck Eden and fuck all of the small-minded people out there who thought the things I wanted were wrong.
I downed the drink that Bull slid across the bar to me and then asked for another. By the time the second one was warming my belly, I was able to drown out the imagined sounds of Travis moaning as he thrust his dick into a woman whose last name he probably didn't even know. By the fourth drink, my head was spinning but that was just fine with me because I could no longer hear Travis, could no longer feel his skin against mine, could no longer hear the laughter in his voice or the softness in it when he said my name… when he whispered it. No, all I could think about was that by the end of next weekend, hardware guy or no, I was going to know what it felt like to finally be wanted for exactly who I was.
Even if it was all just a lie.
Chapter 3
Travis
"You seen Jackson?" I asked when I reached the bar. Bull was cleaning a glass with the little towel he normally kept slung over his shoulder. His eyes lifted briefly to mine.
"Have you?" Bull responded. He seemed pissed but I had no idea why. And I was way too agitated to care.
I was about to repeat the question when I felt fingers dust over the back of my neck. The touch was soft and light… too soft and light. Nausea swept through my belly as Brandy leaned in against my back and wrapped her arms around my waist like they belonged there. It was all I could do not to shove away from her.
"Come on Travis, let's go to my place," she whispered in my ear. Her lips skimmed my neck but instead of my dick leaping to life, it didn't even flinch. That reality had me pushing away from the overly made-up blonde.
"You seen Jackson or not?" I asked Bull again. I needed to get the fuck out of there. Jackson was usually waiting for me at the bar, but I hadn't seen him since I'd led Brandy to the bathrooms. Before that, I'd been completely and totally aware of him… too much so. I’d had to work hard not to be obvious as I’d watched him move through the crowd and then sit by the bar. The anger and rejection I'd been feeling after his comment about me not being family had grown into something more. Men and women alike had brushed up against him as he’d walked through the crowd or as they’d leaned against the bar to get their own drinks. Every single moment of contact, no matter how innocent it’d been, had had me fisting my hands but I hadn't understood why.
I still didn't.
The only thing I was certain of was that I needed to find Jackson and get the hell out of there.
Bull leaned almost menacingly across the bar, the muscles of his arms bulging against his T-shirt. His eyes flicked briefly to Brandy and then back to me. "Looks like you found what you were looking for," he muttered before sliding my car keys across the bar to me. Jackson did too."
Before I could say anything else, he sauntered off to deal with a rowdy customer at the end of the bar. Brandy was still touching me, but whereas her touch had made me feel cold before, now I barely noticed it. What the hell had Bull meant?