I could hear movement on the other side of the wall and knew I had just minutes to act. I ignored my conscience, which repeatedly told me to get up and walk away from the computer, and I ignored what it meant that I was doing what I was doing. In fact, I ignored everything in my head except for the one word that I kept repeating to myself as I imagined Jackson making love to the man he'd asked fate to give him a second chance at being with.
No.
It was only when the confirmation email came through that the ad had been deleted that I finally felt the tiniest measure of relief. It took only a few more seconds to find and delete all of the website’s emails from Jackson's inbox. When I went to the website itself, I saw that Jackson already had several responses. That just stiffened my resolve and I worked quickly to delete his account in its entirety. My fingers were numb by the time I was done and when Jackson came out of the bathroom, I was back to pacing and trying to work up the nerve to tell him what I'd just done. But then I saw the bandage in his hand and when he warned me not to argue with him as he started fixing me up, I kept my mouth shut.
I was the coward of all cowards and a terrible human being, but I didn't care. Not if it meant I got to keep Jackson all to myself for just a little while longer.
Chapter 2
Jackson
I had a strict but simple policy when it came to Travis Rush.
Hands off.
I wasn't always successful in following my own rules when it came to physical contact with the younger, gorgeous cowboy, especially when he hurt himself or acted out because of some demon from his past that was haunting him, but for the times that I did fail, I had a pretty decent backup plan.
I got drunk.
Stupidly drunk.
That would definitely have to be the plan for tonight. Granted, I'd have to stay sober long enough to make sure Travis left the bar in one piece with the flavor of the week, or even just to get myself home in the rare case that Travis deemed the girl worthy of spending the night with. Most nights, I would've just spent the evening at the bar slowly nursing a drink or two while I pretended to enjoy the company of whatever woman hadn't been fortunate enough to find herself a date for the evening. With Eden being as small as it was, the ratio of men to women was pretty big, so more often than not it would just be me and Bull, the bar's owner/bouncer/bartender chatting about our kids, which I was entirely thankful for.
Tonight, though, I was definitely going to be indulging in a bottle of scotch when I got home and hopefully sleep through the moment Travis returned to the ranch with a satisfied smile on his mouth because Brandy Jarvison had finally given it up to him.
The sound of Travis tapping his fingers against the steering wheel momentarily distracted me from my thoughts of the evening to come. He’d been acting strangely ever since he’d come to my room and even more so after we’d left the ranch.
Our routine was common enough that by now he was usually talking excitedly to me about all the women we were going to bag. I never bothered correcting him that the only one doing any bagging was him, mostly because then I'd have to endure his attempts to find me a date for the evening. I was glad that at least that part wasn't something it looked like I’d have to deal with tonight. But I didn't like seeing Travis so anxious.
I couldn't help but glance at his bandaged hand and wonder what had caused him to lash out like he had. It wasn't unheard of for Travis to be a hothead around other people, especially when he felt like he had to compete with someone he thought was better than him, but for him to put a hole in my wall for absolutely no reason made no sense whatsoever.
On top of that, he hadn't spoken a word to me since we’d left.
Travis Rush and I were as different as night and day, and yet somehow we’d managed a friendship unlike any I'd ever had before. He was younger than me by about ten years and there were plenty of times when he’d act his age and just let loose and have fun. But he was also one of the hardest workers I'd ever known. Not to mention he had a protective streak that ran a mile long.
While he wasn't too much taller than me, he'd come from the deep end of the generous gene pool whereas I was still in the shallows… hell, I was still on the damn shore.