I tried to choke back the sobs in my throat, but when Travis whispered, "Let it out, sweetheart" against my mouth, I completely lost it. My body began to shake violently and then my knees gave out. But Travis’s arm snaked around my waist before I could fall. He pressed me back against the wall and eased one of his legs between mine to help support me. His free hand came up to rest on my cheek and he just held me as I cried. I wasn't sure how long it took before I was able to catch my breath and calm down, but the whole time that I was falling apart inside and desperately trying to rebuild myself, Travis kept repeating the same words to me. Apologies, encouragement, praise… and they were all there in the softest of whispers.
"Jackson," Travis began to say.
I shook my head. "He's not here. No one's here. No one touched me… no one has ever touched me like—" I couldn't get the last word out, but I suspected it didn't matter because Travis tightened his grip on me and his thumb stroked over my cheekbone.
"Please don't do this to me, Travis," I breathed. "Not you." I shook my head over and over again. I wasn't strong enough for any of this. I didn't understand half of what was going on but I knew if he kissed me again, that would be it. I'd never be able to come back from that. It wouldn’t matter if I moved to a different ranch or to a different country. I'd never escape the hold Travis had on me.
Travis’s grip on me didn't lessen in the slightest. In fact, if anything, it got tighter. His mouth was near my ear again and he whispered, "If I let you go, you'll run."
He was absolutely right. I didn't have the emotional strength to pull free of him, but if he let me go, I’d at least have a chance to get my grasp on reality back.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
I felt him shake his head against mine. "I don't know," he admitted. "I just know I can't lose you, Jackson."
Understanding dawned. "Travis, that thing I said about family… I didn't mean it. You'll always be a part of my family, mine and Jolene's. Cameron will always be in your life. He thinks of you as an uncle. That won't change. You'll never be alone. You'll—"
That was all I got out before his hand snaked up into my hair and he pulled my head back so that I was forced to look at him. "Is that what you think this is?" he asked harshly. "Do you think so little of me that I'd use your needs against you?"
There was no question what needs he was talking about, especially when he pressed his groin against mine. Despite my mind crumbling from the onslaught of emotion, my body was having no issue with making it clear what it wanted. My cock was so hard that it hurt.
"In case you haven't noticed, Jackson, you're not the only one needing something right now." Travis's voice was rough and uneven. But I didn’t understand what he was talking about until he shifted his hips just so and his dick, his very hard dick, brushed mine through our clothing. Disbelief rattled around my already confused brain. No, there was just no way he was…
But he was. Travis was a talented guy, but I doubted even he could make his cock respond so completely to a body that was the exact opposite of what he wanted.
"I love your family, but they don't factor even one fucking bit into this," Travis continued. His lips grazed mine and then his thumb was at the corner of my mouth. "I don't understand any of this, Jackson, but when I saw the ad on your computer and I thought about some guy touching you like this"—his thumb grazed my lower lip and then his tongue came out to lick the spot— "I wanted to kill him. I had to settle for taking it out on your drywall."
I remembered the way Travis had punched his fist through my wall. The idea that he’d done it because he was jealous had the spark of hope that had sustained me for so long beginning to build and build in my belly. But my brain refused to let it take over.
"You're straight," I breathed against Travis's mouth. He was panting like crazy and I couldn't help but reach out my hand and rest it against his neck. His heart was going a mile a minute. It was another thing I knew there was no way he could fake. That stupid, silly hope surged.
"Uh huh," Travis murmured and then his mouth settled on mine. I forgot that he was agreeing with me that he was straight and opened my mouth to his. For someone who'd never likely been with another guy, Travis didn't hesitate to take control of my mouth, to own it. By the time he was finished with me, my entire body except for one important part was like a limp noodle.