Brooks carefully cleaned my cut, then pressed paper towels against the wound to try to stop the bleeding. I felt a twinge of pain, but I’d had much worse, so I didn't even react to it. But Brooks, my sweet Brooks, whispered, "Sorry," anyway. The fact that he was apologizing to me for pain that he thought he was inflicting did something to me that I couldn't understand.
That I was afraid to understand.
I knew I needed to act on it though, and so I did. I used my free hand to cup Brooks's cheek and tilted his head a little before I covered his mouth with mine. Unlike all our previous kisses that had been hungry and rushed, I savored this one as I truly explored his mouth, his sweetness. Brooks still had his hands holding my injured one, but he kissed me back. His mouth was equally gentle and seeking. But it didn't take long before our bodies began to take over and I was pulling him against me and deepening the kiss. I started to press him back against the sink, but he suddenly pulled away and shook his head.
"No," he whispered harshly. "No, you don't get to do this to me again."
He released my hand, and the paper towels he’d been holding in place drifted to the floor. My heart hurt for the despair I heard in Brooks's voice and saw in his eyes as he turned away from me. He put his hand to his temple and shook his head. He didn't say anything more.
I didn't blame him. He was right. I knew exactly which part of our encounters had upset him. I’d treated him like he was nothing at the end of both of them. I’d turned away from him like he was turning away from me now. And if the agony he was feeling was even half of what I was going through, I didn't deserve any kind of forgiveness.
"Brooks, baby," Sparkly Guy said from the doorway behind us. "If you guys are finished, let's get out of here or I'll have to start offering blowjobs to these guys to keep them back."
I wanted to punch the guy for daring to call Brooks "baby," but I managed to restrain myself. Brooks walked past me, grabbed a few more paper towels from the dispenser, and handed them to me.
"Put pressure on your cut," he murmured. Then he left the bathroom. I followed, brushing against Sparkly Guy as I went past him. The man didn't back down even a little. If I hadn't already hated him, I probably would have liked him a bit.
Brooks used the exit at the back of the bar, which I was grateful for, because I had no desire to go back through the crowd. He walked next to me as we made our way to the motel. Sparkly Guy was behind us, which just served to piss me off. Why didn't he just mind his own business? I refused to think that maybe Brooks was his business, at least for the evening.
We reached the motel room where the Range Rover was parked. Brooks stopped in front of the door and crossed his arms. He looked uncomfortable. Sparkly Guy pulled a key from a hidden pocket in his shirt and opened the door. It was clear that they were going to share the room, and that made me want to throw up. More than anything, though, I wanted to escape so I could lick my wounds.
"Sorry for messing up your night," I muttered, and then I turned to head to my truck.
"That's it?" Brooks whispered. His voice was so low I barely heard him. The hurt was clear as day, though.
I turned to again tell him I was sorry, hoping that would somehow be enough, but the words wouldn't come. The sight of Brooks and Sparkly Guy standing in front of that motel room door was fucking killing me. I turned away again in the hopes that I could make myself go to my truck, but the second I had my back to him, my feet became like cement blocks. I fisted my hands, including the bloodied one, and tried to use the pain to get control of myself. But it was a wasted effort.
I could hear Sparkly Guy saying something to Brooks behind me. I chanced a look over my shoulder and saw that Sparkly Guy had his fingers on Brooks's arm and was trying to urge him to go into the room. Sparkly Guy looked concerned for Brooks. Maybe Sparkly Guy was exactly what Brooks needed. My gut was telling me that when Sparkly Guy and Brooks said their goodbyes in the morning, it would be followed with a soft kiss or sweet hug… something to indicate that even though they'd just been having fun for one night, it hadn't just been about fucking.