You were on your own after a one-night stand.
Just like I'd spent a restless night wondering how Brooks was, he’d have to deal with whatever emotions the encounter had evoked within him, if any at all. Maybe it’d just been sex for him and he was fine. Maybe that was what his life was like in New York. Hell, for all I knew he could have a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend. I suddenly wanted to know the answers to all those questions, but I kept my mouth shut.
"I was looking at this invoice here for this guy, Harvey Littlefield… the numbers aren't lining up on his account. It says he paid in full for the horses he bought, but I'm not seeing the corresponding credit to the account. It's short by several thousands of dollars. Do you know anything about that?"
Something inside of me darkened, withered. How could I have forgotten the reason Brooks was even here? He was trying to figure out why the ranch was in financial trouble. Since he was his father's son, there'd be only one place to go to find the answer, to place the blame.
The resident criminal.
"I'm just wondering if the money ended up in a different account or something?" Brooks added when I didn't respond.
I was careful to keep my touch on Millie light as I continued to brush her. But the anger inside was hard to tamp down. "Like my account?" I asked. "You going to ask to see my bank account next?"
There was a new level of tension in the air. I could feel it vibrating between us, even as there was nothing but silence.
"Xavier, I wasn't—"
"Yes, you were." I paused a moment and then said, "Did you come straight to me or did you even think about asking your uncle first?"
I turned to look at him because I wanted to make him uncomfortable.
I expected him to get angry, to lash out. Part of me wanted him to do that. It would remind me of his father. The asshole had always become verbally abusive when he hadn’t gotten his way. He’d liked when everyone followed his orders, and when they hadn't, well… let's just say I hadn’t been his favorite person because I'd never been good at following orders from anyone.
Brooks just watched me sadly and then shook his head. "I just needed your help, Xavier. I thought maybe you wanted to help Uncle Curtis… to make sure he didn't lose this place." He turned on his heel and left the stall. His footfalls were softer than they'd been when he’d come in.
"Fuck," I muttered to myself. I told myself to keep working on Millie, but the farther away the footsteps got, the more agitated I got. I reached down and snagged the grooming box and hurried out of the stall, closing it behind me. I caught up to Brooks right before he reached the barn's entrance. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back a few steps. I didn't say anything as I took the invoice from him and studied it.
"Harvey runs the feed store in Eden. You may want to check if we got some kind of discount on that month’s feed. Your uncle made a lot of deals like that with people when they couldn't afford the full price. He might not have added that in as a credit. He has a tendency to just keep that kind of stuff in his head." I handed the paper back to him.
"Thanks," Brooks murmured. His eyes were on the paper, but I could tell he wasn't actually looking at the words or numbers. I needed to let him go, to send him on his way. But being this close to him again was like the night before. He was right there, yet he was so far out of my reach. It angered and frustrated me.
There were a few ranch hands milling about the pastures and paddocks outside the barn, so I grabbed Brooks’s arm and pulled him farther into the barn. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, one of his dressy ones, so I couldn’t feel his skin.
Which was probably a good thing.
I led him to the corner of the barn where we stored a special blend of hay for the horses who needed a bit more nutrition. I'd wanted privacy for our conversation, but the second I had him there with no prying eyes, I found that my resolve to ask him certain questions had started to wane. I needed to make sure he understood that last night had been a one-time thing, but as he stood there in front of me, his eyes wary but trusting at the same time, there was only one question that came out of my mouth.
"Did I hurt you?"
I tensed as I waited for the answer. I'd spent the whole night reliving our encounter and remembering how roughly I'd taken him. I hadn’t prepped him and as soon as I’d gotten inside of him, I'd let go. I'd used him in the way that I’d needed him. I thought that I'd also given him what he wanted, but in the light of day, I was having serious doubts. Especially since he was quieter than I would've expected. I'd also expected him to bring it up, but now that he wasn't saying a word about it, I began to panic. What if I’d read something wrong? What if somewhere along the way he’d wanted me to stop and I hadn't heard him? As his silence lingered and he just stared at me, I became more and more agitated.