“No, and that sounds absolutely disgusting.”
I clicked my tongue and told him, “Oh, my dear Edenizabeth, you have so much to learn.”
We finished the cotton candy, then hit up a candy shop on our way back to the truck. After we bought four caramel apples and four boxes of saltwater taffy, Eden said, “I’ll meet you outside in a minute,” so I left the shop and waited on a nearby bench.
He joined me a minute later with something in his hand, and I got up and asked, “What are you holding?”
“I wanted to buy you a memento.” He took one of my hands in both of his and said, with perfect sincerity, “This is so you can always remember your one true love—” That startled me, but then he removed his hands. I was holding a stuffed, three-inch-long, hot pink jellyfish. He deadpanned, “—the jellyfish you screwed that one time.”
Both of us burst out laughing, and I exclaimed, “I did not have sex with a jellyfish!” That earned me some concerned looks from a family that was passing by.
Eden shrugged and told me, “You admitted the mini shower cap looked exactly like it. That means you had a basis for comparison.”
I groaned, “Why did I tell you about the shower cap?”
“Because confession is good for the soul,” he said, as amusement once again made his eyes sparkle. “You know though, there’s one other thing we need to discuss here. All of you was spray-painted orange except for your dick. How did that look?”
I tried to keep a straight face as I grabbed Scooby from the bench and strode toward the parking lot. “I’m not talking about this.”
“I have to know, though,” he called, as he hurried after me. “Was it like a block of tofu floating in a sea of orange sherbet? It was, wasn’t it?” I pretended to be horrified, even though I couldn’t help but laugh.
Casey met us in the kitchen when we got home. He was wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a smiling, spiky green plant on it, along with the caption, “Say Aloe to my Little Friend.” Typical. He tried to pretend he was annoyed at being left out, but then we plied him with his share of the sweets and reminded him he hated roller coasters, and he forgave us.
After he ate a huge bite of caramel apple, he said, “So, let me get this straight. You two spontaneously drove over an hour to an amusement park, rode one ride, bought candy, and came right back home?”
“Eden also showed me what a huge stud he is by winning Scooby.” I indicated the five-foot-tall stuffed animal, which I’d stuck in one of the chairs around the kitchen table. The orange cat, who was inexplicably named Pancake, had jumped onto the table and was sniffing Scooby suspiciously. I was surprised at a second cat sighting in one day.
Casey said, “I bet this field trip was Seth’s idea, right?”
Eden frowned at him. “Why, because you think I can’t be spontaneous?”
His best friend grinned and nodded. “Yes. Exactly.”
“That’s actually why we went on our little outing,” I explained, as I cut George’s caramel apple into slices and arranged them on a plate. “We were talking about how Eden could be spontaneous if he wanted to, and then we proved it.”
“Even though it was your idea,” my brother said.
“Yeah, but he went along with it, so that counts.”
I took George his apple, a bowl of saltwater taffy, and a cup of coffee, which was always his beverage of choice. He was back in his recliner with the TV on, and since it was a commercial break I asked, “How was shopping?”
He’d gotten a haircut and a shave while they were out, and he looked good. “Boring, but I got some sharp new threads for tonight. Casey looked online, and there’s this nightclub we found that has live jazz. I’m hoping there might be some fine-looking women there, for both me and my grandson. Maybe we’ll even find some gay guys for you and Casey, although you seem to be doing just fine when it comes to your sex life.”
“Are you thinking about getting back out into the dating pool, George?”
“It’s time,” he said, as he adjusted his glasses. “My wife’s been gone a lot of years.”
“She would have wanted you to get back out there.”
“Oh no she wouldn’t! She was one jealous lady. But I’ve got to do what’s right for me, you know?”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Thanks for the sweets,” he said, as he picked up a slice of caramel apple. “I’m surprised my grandson the warden signed off on it.”
“He’s not so bad.”
“If you say so.”
The commercial break ended, so I sat down on the couch and shut up, because talking over TV shows was George’s one pet peeve. In general though, he was a pretty laid-back guy, and I enjoyed his company.